incomplete without Jesus.

moved

2009-02-18T19:49:00.003+08:00

i've decided to move on...

www.thegenerationparadox.wordpress.com

this blog is officially CLOSED.

a "don't" of blogging

2009-02-17T18:42:00.004+08:00

come on, if you don't want anyone to know how you really feel, or anything of such, don't blog!

blogging it and setting it in small fonts makes no difference.

if you say you want to just pen yout thoughts down, but not want others to see, then go create a private blog, or type them in MS Words and safe them.

blogging it in your open blog (including in small fonts and ugly colours) only means others are allowed to see.

unless that's your main purpose, to capture attention, so people around will start asking what happened, and you'll be all emo and say, 'nothing'.

P.S. i'm not refering to any particular person/people.

Trust God

2009-01-08T16:31:00.000+08:00

it is I who role the dice,

it is God who determines how it lands.

i trust God, my solid Rock.

shoes that don't fit you

2009-01-03T11:34:00.005+08:00

it's important to do everything sincerly.

do unto others what you want others do unto you.

i know i did.

i guess...

everything turned out this way cos of the way we thought for ourselves.

one party thinks: i want to be accountable to them, and i dont expect them to react in any bad way.

the other thinks: so i've been used, my opinion dont matter.

"i", "my"... why haven they thought...

1: will they be okay? will they take it well? will this be doing them any good?

2: are they feeling as bad as we do? (yes) why did they tell me, did they really need me?

it's about placing others before self.

yea, it's hard to ignore one's own feelings.

like putting others before self when i'm feeling really bad.

that's definitely not quite easy.

yea, that's where i say "sorry".

sorry for not sparing a thought for you guys.

sorry for not telling you earlier.

asking you out so far was only cos i really wanted to go out with you.

if you find it too much of a coincidence, i dont know what to say.

if you bother to read on... probably cos my promos just ended 2 monthss ago, and probably cos it's my hols.

these are reasons why you're willing to go out too, isn't it? (besides cos it's a close friend asking you out)

this is the part where i put myself in others' shoes...

probably cos of different characters, i only understood certain parts.

parts such as...

being worried.

being angry i'm only informed now.

being pissed i've been used (tho it's not true).

being disappointed.

i dont understand the part about losing a friend and being a lousy friend.

gosh, did you even hear us out?

i think i'm only asking for trouble, inviting quarrels, hope you understand ya.

i guess, this is something for all of us to learn.

" Can we cross the barrier and be gracious with those who have hurt us?"

"Christians are a helpful bunch with no motives as well."

- credits: ziyi

what's in this for all for us?

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T20:04:00.003+08:00

great fulfilling year. let's recap 2008...

events:

1)NYJC

that pae period was cool. really honeymoon. i pon the lessons i dont like, didnt really do tutorials. but thank God the friends i made there are really guai and smart people. hahaha. i played touch rugby there too! =p

2)JJC

begining was still honeymoon. then the stress kicked in. well, there was a period where i dread sch so so much, i was afraid to step into sch. i'll never forget that feeling man. but my gracious God brought me through and now i know, i'm doing this for a far greater purpose.

3)Camps

camps are awesome. serious. tiring, a lil too much commitment, but fun. great friends, great campers, great experience.

4)Promos

woah. that crazy period. honestly, i didnt study hard. really. but i seriously thank God that my results are not that bad. no exemption, but no need to retake any papers. no top in class, but what more can i expect when i dont study hard.

5)YI Camp and X'mas Bash

i've been doing really little this year. didnt go for set-ups. but i did different roles, a lil more sounds now. quite cool being the sound operator for x'mas bash. i did the sound effects! kinda lag at times, but still, a learning experience.

YI camp this year is just amazing. it's been a really long long time since i've hear God so clearly. i think i'm being transformed. i no longer feel that kind of really high passion. instead, it's those that you're convicted by the Holy Spirit. you just know it, you dont have to feel it. indescribable.

people:

1)Ziyi, Zhiyu

hahaha. they are people i can always talk to. crap, jokes, rants, secrets, etc. i can tell them anything and everything under the sun!

2)Cellgroup

cellgroup had grown. not in size, but in the way we act, talk, maturity. i dont really know how to describe, but you can see the change, a positive change. and cellgroup is definately one group of people i look forward to seeing at the end of every week.

3)Media

was it this year we had our media retreat? yea. it's cool. media people are nice. kena a lil more from muen this year, but well, it's kinda my bad. nice bunch to hang out, have fun with.

4)Calista, Huiting, Evan, MichelleNg, MichelleLo

these 5 oikos girls are people i like to hang out with. we dont get to meet often, but they've been around for me. when times are bad, i know they are a group of friends i can turn to. how do put it? i dont really know. but this kind of friends are hard to come by, and i just thank God i'm blessed with them.

5)Luwei

how can i forget him when he thanked me on his blog. yea, it's amazing how God answered his prayer. luwei ever prayed that we can be good friends. and our prayer-answering God answered his prayer. definately a friend i enjoy sitting down and talk with. i remember that time we played guitar and talk. so cool. we were no guitar pros, but i enjoyed his company.

6)JingWei, Mindy, Esther, Liyuan, Jieying, Gabriel, Muxin

i dont really hang out much with that gang now, but i sure did enjoy when i do hang out with them. =)

7)Weehuat

cool teacher. not much teaching this year. but always liked talking to him

8)Gideon Ren

i like talking to him. he taught me so so much. thanks Gideon!

9)Gideon Choo

i've been talking a lot with him this year, unexpected huh. i didnt expect it myself. great dad, funny problems, and i like making fun of him with you-know-who. hahaha. thanks dad!

10)Wei Shun, Varma

they are people i've not been talking to, but people i can freely share to. thanks for being around to hear me out this year. =)

11)08s02

going through the year together is kinda cool. studying together, crapping together. a lil unhappy-ness sometimes, but well, a great bunch of people to hang out with. like in the chalet. i definately enjoyed myself.

12)Peishing, Winnie, Bernie, Yixuan, Zhaomian

great friends to tide me thru the year. what will i do without them. i'll probably die in JJ. hee!

13)Chengyong

cool friend. it's kinda weird how we got close. hahha. all thanks to me? well, we dont really talk, but when we do, we sure can talk quite a lot. did share with him. and especially when we're in different lecture groups and many of our breaks clashes, there are a lot of stuffs i can borrow from him when i forget to bring stuffs and such. hee!!

14)n_n

i'm sorry i dont appear in a lot of our outings. sundays! family days! sorry! but well, they are definitely a group of people i never wanna lose contact with. thanks for you guys' great company.

15)Chongxiang

also a friend i never wanna lose contact with. great friend. love to catch up with him. nice study partner too. haha. thanks dude. =)

16)Rebecca Kan, Joel Lew

hahah. thanks for.. yea.. you get it. hahaha. this period... but it's ending. i'll probably bug you guy less now. heehee!!

i've named quite a fair bit, but there's still more to go.

most importantly, my all-amazing, all-powerful God who tide me through my difficult times, dance with me through my happy times, and provide peace in confusing times. what would i do without Him. i can never, never ever, imagine life without Him. thank God for the people who crossed my path, thank God for my always-supportive family, thank God for cellgroup, media, etc. thank God thank God!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

a taste of my thoughts

2008-12-21T21:53:00.003+08:00

the Bible is a book we experience.

changes is part of this course of life we experience. every moment... changing... our enviornment, the situations we're in, how we feel, how we think, what we do, what we choose to say.

main point: be sure of what you hold on to, and never regret. be accountable for your own actions.

some may say,"nono, main point is to please God." yea, we know. please God. definately. a must. and it all points back to the Bible.

but there are stuffs we will come across that has no specific right or wrong. that's why even Christianity itself, there are divisions. some think that worshipping God with a huge band, loud music is not okay. some thinks it is. i'm sure those who think it's not okay will not be condemned. they still worship God in the way they think will please God the most. some may say, in the Bible, king David celebrated with loud music too. but well... different people have different defination of loud too. same way, some may think only after 21 can one get into a relationship. are you sure 21 is the right age? some may mature sooner, some later. they are accountable for what they do, and they please God the way they think will please God the most. doesn't mean getting in one early means not pleasing God. yea, there are many factors to it. studies, family, finance. well, doesn't mean getting in one at 21 means all these factors are no longer there too.

i think it's okay to make mistakes. it's okay to make the wrong turns. some people just need to experience the hurts before they'll learn. be responsible for your own act and make sure you dont regret. that's important. of course, never fogetting, please God.

it's individual, that's my point of view. you can share with me your views, but if i dont agree to them, dont try to convince me and force your idea on me. thanks.

who are you looking to?

2008-11-19T14:30:00.001+08:00

"when it came to making mistakes… i always looked at peter

when it came to fear and smallness.. i looked to gideon!

when it came to suffering.. i looked to king david

i always looked at their responses

when it came to running away from a task, i looked to jonah.

when it came to a world that made no sense, i looked at Jesus.

who are u looking to?

go for it.

make mistakes, and learn.

but dun make the same mistakes too many times.

dun blame the circumstances for the mistakes..

take the circumstances by prayer and proper administration.. "

a friend taught me all these. cool.

2008-11-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINDY! <3

back!!!

2008-11-14T12:29:00.002+08:00

yay! i'm back!!

realised i didnt buy a lot of stuffs this trip.

nothing special, and nothing cheap. LOL!

it feels so good to be home. hee!

i just wanna keep my focus all on God!

only have a few weeks to do holiday homework then start mugging.

wow.

i actually thought about homework while in hk.

oh no! that's the bad consequences of hanging out too much with winnie.

lol! homework will just stay in your head! scary!

still, i wanna keep my focus all on God.

praying these year-end events wont be seasonal.

where the passion ignites for this moment, then fades away.

i want it to last, everything.

hong kong!

2008-11-09T16:21:00.001+08:00

this is cool.
i'm in hongkong for now!
the hotel provides free wireless! =D
i'll only be back by thurs night, probably fri midnight.
so till then, i'll not reply texts and all huh. =)
but in the meantime, i might just update my blog, probably tumblr. hee!

see ya! =D

2008-10-31T00:24:00.001+08:00

dear child of Mine

just put your trust in Me, you can never go wrong.
love, joy, peace... you name it!
but you gotta trust Me.
trust in all that I have in plan for you.
trust that I love you and I only have the best for you.
just trust with that beautifully innocent childlike faith of yours.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME!

♥ God

prayer request

2008-10-29T00:56:00.002+08:00

well, got a couple of prayer requests. =)

A' level chinese this coming thursday(30 oct)
project work oral presentation next monday(3 nov)
more discipline this holiday to prepare for tests next year and complete my assignments

yup, it's crazy.

very 1st bio lecture of the year will be a test on EVERYTHING we've learnt this year.

1st week of school will be an organic chemistry test.

hectic 2009 awaiting me!

2008-10-12T19:20:00.002+08:00

a friend taught me this:
Christian without Christ, is I am nothing.
(ChristIAN - Christ = I Am Nothing)

Job

2008-10-09T20:37:00.003+08:00

my 2 favourite books in the bible: James and Job.

learnt a whole lot from them. of course, i've learnt a lot from the whole bible. probably i just read these 2 books at the right time, where it applies to my life the most.

it's amazing the way Job would continue to love God, despite all that has happened to him.
he realised that even when he dont see God, he dont feel God, God's still there.
there are times he had doubts.
but istead of allowing his doubts get hold of him, he present his doubts to God.
the conversation between Job and his friends, amazing.

well, i have yet to finish the book of Job. who knows what else God has in store for me.

Surely resentment destroys the fool, and jealousy kills the simple.

Job 5:2

He does great things too marvelous to understand. He perform countless miracles.

Job 5:9

Job, a man worth learning from.

God just has a way with the stuff He put in the bible.

after all, He did say every word in the bible is God breathed.

i know He must have purposes and learning values to EVERY verse in the bible.

hmm. i wonder.

God's vs mine

2008-09-28T22:20:00.004+08:00

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD."As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Psalm 13:2

"This is the end of the matter. I, Daniel, was deeply troubled by my thoughts, and my face turned pale, but I kept the matter to myself."

Daniel 7:28

END OF PROMO! =D

2008-09-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

FINALLY! promos ended!! *phew!*

had so many '1st times' this week. cool!

i FINALLY caught 'MAMMA MIA!' with my daddy, mummy and sis! in short, my family.
lol! mummy was like saying, "heng you didnt go watch this show with your friends, or i and dad will missed out on such a nice movie!" haha. just glad they liked it. i like it too!

but good things never last huh.

it's back to sch on mon. *yawns*
and it's back to test, tutorials, and WORSE, promo results.
i'm so in 'ANTICIPATION'.

church church. it was good. i like today.
maybe cos i could sit by and sabo people during icebreaking. and guitar snapped while i was playing during pnw! okay, i wasn't 'zai' enough. the service was good, the message and all. really, good! =D

I MISS REBECCA!

where is the love?

prayer request

2008-09-14T23:29:00.003+08:00

emphasis from my previous post:

but when God is the focus, all these will just fall into place.

we wont have to try so hard, it'll come naturally.

cos God is the focus.

well well, promos.
pray for me dear friends.
thanks! =)

got this from luwei's blog:

A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.

proverbs 11:28(the message)

am i really expecting too much from myself?

being a christian

2008-09-11T17:14:00.002+08:00

i just recieved an email, you might heard of it before, titled "bible vs. cellphone".
haha. such emails always say... "if you honour God and wanna stand up for Him, you'll forward this."
well, i deleted it.
not that i dont honour God, not that i dont stand up for Him.
but by not sending this doesnt prove anything.
i just dont like forwarding such chain emails to others.
yea, email may take little effort and it's free.
well, i just dont like it.
tho, it's good to take a look at some at times.

***

i was thinking, it'll be kinda good if i'm not a christian huh.
jc life's hectic, plus sat church and all.
if i'm not a christian, no commitment, i can do whatever i like.
i can join all the camps i want, be a jj leader, say whatever i feel like saying, do whatever i feel like doing, gossip all i want, spend all the time i want with my friends, probably hang out with the guy i like and such.
i wont have to be bothered by if whatever i'm doing pleases God, if the leaders are looking, if i'm being a good testimony, leaving good impressions.

but well, i AM a christian, and being bothered by stuff like leaders, disciples, impressions, is so wong.
it shouldn't be about all those.
it should be between me and God.
but such symptoms are so prominent today.

main point is... so what if i get to do what i like?
i wont be able to bring all these up to heaven, or down to hell with me.
when i die, all these will fade away.
but when i'm a christian, i stor something better, something for eternity.
you know, 70 years is peanuts compared to infinite years.
wanting to do only what pleases God, that's my purpose.
i no longer have to search for love from people, which is unreliable.
i no longer have to worry so much about trying to fit in, cos i know i'm fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image and i'm called to make a difference.

conclusion: i'm glad i'm a christian.

***

can someone define the meaning of being a christian?
today, the meaning of christians is to fear the leaders/disciplers;
to be nagged by them;
to be bothered by them;
to be bothered by leaving good impressions(like the saying 1st impression counts);
to be so bothered about being a good testimony; etc.
being a christian is simple, it's to be like Christ.
to be like Christ is difficult, but that's all that meatters, that's the focus.
of cos those mentioned above are important.
but when God is the focus, all these will just fall into place.
we wont have to try so hard, it'll come naturally.
cos God is the focus.

God is GOOD

2008-09-07T16:05:00.003+08:00

Why do i even bother to have a relationship with God?
to go up to heaven?
to live a good and fulfilling life?

nah, i truely believe God is real and loves me.
well, since such a powerful force loves me so dearly, there's no reason for me to reject Him, is there?
God is not just another religious article.
He's like the ALMIGHTY.
ALMIGHTY i say.
get it, ALMIGHTY.
when you begin to realise how GREAT and POWERFUL and HIGH UP God is, it becomes GREAT PRIVEILEDGE to be loved by Him and to get to know Him.
better still, He created us to love Him.
and in return for loving Him, we get rewards, going to heaven, being provided for, etc.
wait a minute, let me get this straight, for doing the exact thing we were created to do, we get rewards?
that doesn't make sense.
it's like getting rewards for eating.
wow!
so just by believing and loving God with our hearts, minds and souls, we get rewards!
hmmm... God is just GOOD.

and the walls come tumblr-ing down!

2008-09-02T17:39:00.002+08:00

http://iscream-.tumblr.com/

tumblr's so interesting!

luwei intro-ed it to me, who intro-ed it to shun, who intro-ed it to cal!

loL!

and my title's from shun too! =P (see, i creditted you!!)

i'll be blogging here and there... depends on my mood. LOL! =D

picture-perfect!

2008-09-01T15:48:00.010+08:00

stayed over at some one's place on sat night... guess!!!

hint1:

hint2: yup! muen's! supposedly luwei's. but muen came, then we went over to his place instead. =D

we tried center-parting. lol! thank God it's too dark to really see. =P

the mess we made.

RSAF OH08! with daddy gid!

the Black Knight! i like that plane! =P

pics from teacher's day!

RADI!

WENBIN!

KOK KEONG!

CYNTHIA! her eyes are.... wow!

KHARI!!! WINNIE!

BEN & HELENA! i find picture cute. =P

ERZI CZ!

CHONGXIANG!

CORINA! did i mention we knew each other for 11 years already?!?

HOOIKIM!

KHARI!

RADI!

BENJAMIN!

HELENA! note:shing at the back.

WANQIN! shing cuts in!! -.-

BOON SIONG!

fight fight!

CZ tries to act like LEON! lol!!

note: shing and kim fights somemore!

they were talking, we were cam whoring! loL!!

i have no idea what cz's doing! he looks as if he praying!! loL!! but this shot quite nice, really!

wanqin had no idea shing was behind her!

retarded!!

joy of desert!

i think we look happy in this!

scandalous pairs...

it takes 2 hands to clap.

when 1 tries and the other tries to run, no sound is made.

but when 1 tries and the other tries to run, there's a chance a sound can be made.

uncondtional love.

loving with brotherly love.

my dear friend.

teachers' day 08

2008-08-29T23:52:00.002+08:00

a fun teachers day i guess.
i was drunk the whole day, all thanks to last night's 2hours of sleep.

JJ
hah! ma-chiam wedding like that.
i and shing walked the middle aisle like some VIP.
we were in search of an empty table.
end up dom help us find teachers' table.
better still, mdm seetow's like so so near us.

and she biased!! i offered to help her.
then she say winnie more guai!!
LOL!

took pictures, etc.

ian told me got short PnW after celebration.
quite weird.
didnt really wanna go.
but went.
haha. quite good i guess.
i like it, when all of us from different churches, different classes, different walks of life come together for 1 purpose.

FUHUA
went back, the poly people were there since 8am?
crazy.
they're having hols anyway, except for kk.
haha.
went to look for mr loh.
crapped.
then ms joanna chan.
more crap.
i like mr chia, he very funny!

WINNIE SAYS MR CHIA HANDSOME, MR LOH NOT!
but she did add that mr loh's cute... means mr chia not!
CONCLUSION: MR CHIA HANDSOME, MR LOH CUTE.
totally by WINNIE CHOO!

went CU for lunch.
took pictures with shing's camera.
oh man!
gonna have to wait for ages before she'll upload them into her comp. -.-
then went for desert.
crapped some more.
the guys went bowling.
the girls went home.

jocelyn came my place to pass me contact lense case.
i thought i lost mine.
anyway, while packing my bag just now, i found mine. -.-
thanks anyway jocelyn!

had nice chats with these people.
these people are not my usual 'gang', not the people i hang out with.
but today, i realised i do love them too.
they do mean something to me.
they too are people i treasure a lot.
this may see a bit of an exaggeration.
but it's real.
it's true.
wow.

JURONG POINT
went there with kenni, serene, yixuan.
nah, just meet up to catch up and such.
just for fun.
that's what we always do huh.
if everytime we meet has to have a reason, then i guess we'll lose contact with a lot of people.

great day.
great friends.
all thanks to my great God.

used to be-s

2008-08-29T02:22:00.002+08:00

it just pains me to see the people i love change so so much.

everything used to be just about God.

these people used to placed God above everything else.

that light used to shine from them.

that light of Jesus, was so bright, captivating, influencial.

now.

things just change.

they were 'used-to-be's.

now different.

i miss you guys.

lesson learnt

2008-08-29T01:42:00.005+08:00

yes winnie, you're gonna have to pay for your mrt rides.

made a wasted trip to vivo today.
what can i say?
like huat said, it does happens, do better research before we make such trips next time lo.
tiring.
lesson learnt.

yours at the Brook Besor

2008-08-27T20:04:00.003+08:00

yesterday was good.
met jaclyn up for sharing with yixuan.
honestly, during the sharing i was angry.
not with yixuan for not recieving Christ.
but with the devil how he have us blinded.
yixuan is not just another number.
not just another soul.
but my friend.
a friend i love.
that's the key.
i'll be praying.

read this chapter from 'Facing Your Giants'.
this chapter about the Brook Besor.(1 samuel 30:9-10)
David and his men were on their way to defeat their enemy.
their enemy captured all their wives and children.
of course they'll be anxious to save them.
and God promised them victory.
but at Brook Besor, 200 men decided to rest, and asked the rest to go on without them.
yup, the battle was won by David.

imagine that....
the rescued wives will start looking for their husbands.
only to find their husbands resting at Brook Besor.
the rescuers were unwilling to share what they have with those who rested.
it's only fair.

but david dignifies their decision to stay as 'guarding supplies'(1 sam 30:23-24).

it's okay to rest.
Jesus is your david.
He fights when you cannot.
He goes where you cannot.
He is not angry if you sit.
Brook Besor blesses rest.

are you weary? catch your breath.
are you strong? reserve passing judgement on the tired.
chances are you'll need to plop down yourself.
Brook Besor blesses rest.

"Come off by yourself; let's take a break and get a little rest" (Mark 6:31; MSG)

Yours at the Brook Besor,
wanzi

complicated beings

2008-08-26T19:15:00.005+08:00

my study partner for like 2 days. lol!

see!! psp and laptops are distractions!!

i'm supposed to be studying. hoho!

humans are just such complicated beings.
God created us to be simple.
when we were kids, we honestly, innocently say 'yes' to what we agree and 'no' to what we dont.
but the devil, our sinful nature has to cloud our minds.
man are no longer as innocent and honest as they are created to be.

take accepting Christ for example.
say 'yes' when you believe, and 'no' when you dont.
there's no need to think of anything else.
cos it ultimately comes down to you and God.
it's God you're acountable to, not your parents.
it's God that we face on judgement day, not our friends.

God, bring me back to who you created me to be.
Your innocent child who believes and loves You with child-like faith.
Your honest child who has nothing to fear but You.
Your righteous child that's accountable to ultimately You.

a random GP lesson

2008-08-25T19:40:00.001+08:00

got this from yongqiang's blog. i find it funny.. hee!! all of us sleeping except winnie! it's GP! lol!! yea, i agree with yq, no wonder she has full exemption! but the part about him scoring well... hmm. i shall not tear him down. yup yq, you'll score! =P

finally, a lil more honest

2008-08-25T18:36:00.003+08:00

i used to think there was a need for a private blog. i was so afraid of blogging how i really feel up here. honestly, i'm more afraid of the people, leaders, that'll read my blog. it's just plain scary how a leader would come up to me on sat and ask,"why so emo? i read your blog." or how about this,"go see his/her blog. he/she is not doing okay." i dont know if anyone ever said that about me, but definately i've heard of people saying that. since that can happen to someone, why not me? things sometimes become so superficial. am i ready to post the way i did in my private blog. ya, i'm making known i have a private blog, in fact i have 2. is there really such a need. well, i do feel the need to. even who i wanna make known my blog to, i gotta be so so selective. such a hassle. so all here is really just a facade, nothing but a mask for others to see and to make them think i'm doing alright. even while typing this there's a fear. i read sylvester's blog, he made so so many real statements, examples, etc. no, i'm not 'brainwashed' by him. it's just that he made known how many people really feel, but didn't dare to express. that does not exclude me. he's good, real, i like him. after all, i'm still human.

disclaimer: i'm not doing not alright, and i dont like like sylvester.

17th birthday con't con't

2008-08-24T18:31:00.004+08:00

okay... 1 week passed and i haven't thank finish. -.-

thanks luwei! yea, risky gift huh. but thanks!

muen for his dinner, rebecca for her yummy icecream treat.

lastly, 08s02. for their card, celebration and all.

thanks thanks thanks!

CAL: we looked distorted! nice! lol!!
SHUN: ya ya... frame it up in your room! i know you're dying to do that. =P
LUWEI: i post about it now!! =P
YQ: my daddy dyed his hair black! or it'll be totally white by now. hee!!
HUAN: yup! surprised ZANE was here! lol! meet up meet up! i miss you guys. =]
SYLVESTER: that explains why i look young too!! =DD
NOAH: yea, study hard ya!! =)

17th birthday and a lil more

2008-08-20T23:10:00.004+08:00

luwei, jingwei, muxin, jieying, liyuan, esther came my place to surprise me on sun night! yea, i really got a shock. i was too engrossed in WORK! haha! went to play bball and kena police? haha! but took a couple of pics too! =D joel pop-ed by too, tho he didnt know it was my birthday. thanks guys!

JOEL! =D

the few of us. lol!

my dad tried to smash cake in my face!! i love my daddy! =D

oh oh! dear oba got me a really cute gift. liyuan got me a really meaningful gift. i'm loved!

CAL got a really really funny post for me!! hilarious!

i pon-ed lecture on monday!! not on purpose! really! i was pushed out of the LT by a group of people. haha! funny.

met cal, grace and yvonne today. saw bro rixiang and his gang, and luwei, serene, ann, winnie. bro rx introduced a J2 JJC-ian to me. lol! quite awkward. =P then went for our usual CU dinner. lol! fun! i love them!

lastly... end of with this. it's funny kay! X)
kudos to weishun! grabbed from cal's blog. hee!

17th birthday

2008-08-16T23:22:00.005+08:00

birthday is just another day la, no big deal. you dont wait till someone's birthday to show how much you love that person right? lol! it's almost oever anyway. =) just 17. not really a big deal... wait till i'm 18! =P ooo... ya! i can now stay out without the 11pm curfew thing. =] lol!

BIG BIG THANKS...

sms-es from: luwei, benjamin tan, weiqi, vidas(his 17 sms-es nearly hang my hp! lol!), yixuan, bernadette, elysia chen, chongxiang, esther, yvonne, ziyi, ann, baby gektheng, daddy gideon, serene, jonathan lam, rebecca, diona, jocelyn, lichuen, chengyong, zhiyu, wenbin, weishan, huishi, junze, winnie, regina phua, don didi, evan chua, lihuan, yiying, laytheng, edwin, debra, jaclyn, dian, kendrik, kenni, corina.

how about online tags and friendster comments from: vidas, esther, gabriel, ann, jasmine, tyzzyih, jiahong, meimun, weishan, jasmine, tzuhsuan, junwen, muxin, yvonne.

cal dearie, huiting mummy and weiqiang came my place at about 1am to surprise me! lol! kinda exciting huh, sneak out to open door for them in the middle of the night while everyone's asleep. =P bought me 20 piece nuggets in place of a cake. lol! i was surprised, really!

lovely archers came my place this morning. wanna catch me in my sleep? haha! i woke up earlier than they came. and someone revealed a little something to me already... lol! but still, touched!
got special branch made by kenni. i said grace!! so i was okay. haha! it was nice la.

beloved media(specifically regina) tried to whip up something for me. haha! appreciated!! =D i like that big big card. i do i do!

went over to oikos to play after media celebrated. lol! gideon ren, huiting, mich lo, anthony, cal, xavier... loL!

took couple of pics... but all not with me. gotta get them soon! =D

far-sighted!

2008-08-11T21:19:00.004+08:00

so looking forward to end of 'A's!!

look far ahead!! but a lil too far!
I'm not even done with my promos. lol!

gonna work as a relief teacher. probably back in fuhua. earn my own money. buy my own stuffs.
gonna get myself...

a mac book (by then, there will be better ones out already)
an electric drum set (tho i don't know... i wanna learn! i want my own jam room!)
camera! thought of a SLR... too pro for me. ha ha!
probably a new guitar

that's all i can think of for now. hee!

but i doubt the money i earn will be enough for all these.

priority... honour my parents! God!

while praying on sat, i got this...

I'm not gonna baptise unless it's with my family.

till then... I'm gonna live my life not just good at doing christian stuffs, but genuine Christ-like.

fun fun with the ones i love!

2008-08-11T20:02:00.010+08:00

thursday
celebrated GABRIEL's birthday. lol!
fun! so many pic and videos
can never get enough of these people.
loves!

birthday boy!

ROSLINE hard at work. loL!

ESTHER leg cramp!!

ESTHER slim!!

LUWEI slim!!

gab's cute lil sis and luwei!

while waiting for the arrival of bday boy. loL!

the retards!! X)

friday

went back fhs.

hah! nice chat with mr loh and mr chia.

miss them so much!

they rock! =)

us who went back.

we got... visitor's pass!!

saturday

hah! fun-filled day. MEDIA RETREAT!

workshop in the morning.

cos i thought it was compulsory! =P

okay, learnt quite a fair bit.

went for service with archers.

then went back for media retreat!

watched a little of NDP parade. no kick compared to olympics opening. haha!

went buddys for dinner. talked talked.

went back church for another workshop.

celebrated timothy's and khoonzheng's birthday. so so funny! timo got so shock he fell! =X

then went for beancurd where me and sabrina hugged tightly.... cos there were cockroaches and rats around!! i'm afraid of these kay! and timo tried to scare me further... -.-

went back church for 'chior boys'. nice! i like! but i fell asleep 30 mins before it ended. cannot tahan already la, really tired. =P

sunday

woke up by drums at 7am!

stoned the whole morning. really tired. hee!

heard vidas, weiqiang and a few others went for LAN in the middle of the night. i wished i was awake!! =P

mac breakfast. then muen's house.

slacked. almost fell asleep there. =)

so so many pictures!! but all with muen... -.- loL! these are the only few i have.

my zi lian MAMA.

spastic TIMO.

ISAAC? L? hahah!

can never get enough of them!

went to morgan's 1st month celebration.

cute babies! =D

my lovely God-given family.

baby joeanne and baby morgan!

morgan was crying. so i cried with him. lol!

another group of people i love. my class.

during civils.

we were blog hopping!

taken one fine day after PC. hah!

for my fellow retardian!

2008-08-07T00:07:00.006+08:00

OFFICIALLY 15!!

he thought his birthday was one day after mine!! RETARDED! =P

doing or waiting?

2008-08-03T23:28:00.003+08:00

we're only human.
there are ups, there are downs.
it's only normal.
it's what we do about it that counts.
are we gonna just sit and wait?
or are we gonna do something?

it is written, ask and you will recieve.
not sit there and wait and you will recieve.

there are bound to be dry seasons.
the fact that we recognise something's wrong,
the fact that we choose to tell someone about it,
means there's still hope,
means we actually do want a change,
whether we know it or not.
it may be a subconscious thing,
but yes, it's the same.

come on.
get up.
do something.
stop sitting there,
procrastinating.

God's there.
ready to help.
ready to strengthen.
ready to be part of your life.
what are you waiting for?

"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. What a fool you have been!"

-2 Chronicles 16:9

again

2008-07-27T12:20:00.000+08:00

i waited.

stupidly.

in vain.

again.

God of all

2008-07-25T23:30:00.005+08:00

a story told by my principal:

there was this teacher who taught in a primary3 class.
one day, she told her class to close their eyes and pray.
as kids, they prayed for candies!
when they opened their eyes, they saw no candy.
now, the teacher told them to class their eyes again.
this time, instead of praying to God, 'pray' to the teacher.
once again, they 'prayed' for candies.
this time, when they opened their eyes, candies appeared on their tables.

morale of the story?
directly quoted from mr koh, "teachers are god."

what rubbish.
he also said teachers are angels sent by God.
that sounded better.

there's only one God.
the God of all living and dead.
the God of all universe.
the God of all creatures.
the God of all.

Praise be to You, O Lord.

God of our father Isreal,

from everlasting to everlasting.

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power

and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,

for everything in heaven and earth is Yours.

Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom;

You are exalted as Head over all.

Wealth and honor come from You;

You are the Ruler of all things.

In Your hands are strength and power

to exalt and give strength to all.

Now, our God, we give You thanks,

and praise Your glorious name.

-1 Chronicles 29:10-13-

Lazarus raised from death

2008-07-21T23:11:00.003+08:00

Something’s changed. “I thought I was dead,” Lazarus said.

And through the rock, I heard the of famous of voices.
“Lazarus, Lazarus, come out!”
Lazarus is bounded up.
But the voice said, “Come out!” and Lazarus stands to his feet. And he said, “I heard my saviour, I will come out.”

If my Saviour knocks on the door, then who am I to say death has me bound? Then who am I to say these bandages around me have me bound?

Cos I’m coming out! When I choose to respond to Jesus.

The scent of death is in the air, but suddenly, Lazarus emerges. What was dead, is now alive.
And the crowd begin to cheer and praise Jesus for His glory, for His honour, for His healing, for His abilities.

what now?

2008-07-21T22:18:00.005+08:00

thick. dense. is the end in sight?

gimme a break!

do i really feel that way?

do i really need someone to tell me how i feel?

is dearie spot on?

faith

2008-07-15T20:15:00.007+08:00

my current life - no life

God, give me the life i need.

only God's is. 'cause the Great I Am says i am.

“Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” - James 1:21

SHUN's posts today...
i relate to it.
something that's been present.
but i chose to ignore.
nah, God will bring us through.
i know it.
i believe it.
i have faith.

2years.
can't wait.

come home running
His hands are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands

renewed

2008-07-12T23:37:00.004+08:00

my favourite day of the week: SATURDAY!

i love saturdays. it's the day that i get to hang out with my eternal family.

there was once in class, the class was like talking about going to korea ELP and it's like late nov to early dec.
wanzi: i can't, i wanna go mission trip with church.
yixuan: like that la! got church friend dont want us already la!!
at that point, i didnt know how to reply. i gave the politically right answer - laughed.

well, know i dare say. the ans is yes. today i shared this with ziyi and serene. they were saying, " of cos! i know my church friends longer than i know my sch friends. it's not surprising that i choose church friends over them. and if any one of my friends dare talk bad about my church friends, i'll get pissed."

yea, that's the attitude i'm lacking. i love my church friends. they my friends that will last. not only this life time, but for eternity, till forever and forever.

went church yesterday for set up, quite okay. hah. just really really worn out from sch.

went church today. was a little late. but i had nothing much to do anyway. went up for media. REGINA was there. yay! crapped with her. then crapped with JAMES CHIA and KENNETH YEO. talked with JIEYING and MICHELLE LEW too. MUEN looks less stress today. =P

and... MY RING IS LOST. (hah! it's okay, dont need feel bad ya, kenneth. =D)

then went for CG. took pics with NUBIAN GENTS AND FEMININE FIRE.(told you guys it was 'fire'! you guys insisted that it's 'five'! =P) took pics at the railway track like the nubian gents one. exciting! then went for BBQ. it was really fun. the talks and all. and i realised i'm so old already! i was one of the pioneers of arhcers 2! so cool! took a lot of pics, all with charlotte. ate a lot. as usual, i dont know how to cook. it was even better when i recieved an unexpected sms. it was great.

went back to church to wait for my sis. but by the time i went back, all the pack up was done already. hee! talked a little with PD, bro tim and the media people.

I LOVE MY MINISTRIES... CELLGROUP AND MEDIA. made really good, nice, godly friends all around. =) i love my eternal family. the place where i grow spiritually and mentally and all.

took the 1st step in rededicating my life today. God, rekindle that fire in me. the way i felt God's holy Presence was really different. it's not those 'woah!' kind of feeling, not those hair-standing, reverent type. it's divine peace that fell upon me. how awesome. i dont want to lose this feeling. the peace, the rest, the quiet-ness my soul felt. it could only me God. powerful. renew-ed.

I LOVE GOD.

just friends

2008-07-07T15:55:00.003+08:00

proud to have friends. no special anyone.

i cant understand why some peopl just chose to live their lives in a total mess, where all they can ever think about is guys guys and more guys. it's just so obvious, the insecurity they face. just because they dont know the unconditional love of Jesus. boy do they need Jesus badly. the hurts, the pain, yet, they still chose to continue to indulge in it. it's just irritating to see such stuffs happen in a decaying world. altho sometimes christians too experience such stuffs, but hey, at least they know there's a God who will always love them and they know of the confidence and security they can find in Him(tho there are exceptions too).

it's just fustrating. why cant they just see the love of Jesus? the amazing, greatest love that no human can give? all the do is 'aw... that guy ignored me. where is he when i needed him most?' really feel like knocking some sense into these people's head! guys are not all that impt! there are so much more in life that is. these guys will just disappoint you time and time again. and istead of learing your lesson, you just indulge further in it, hoping the next guy would be different. there is no difference!

the one and only that will never disappoint is Jesus. the one and only who will always be there when you're at your lowest point is Jesus! when will they ever understand that? satan had just blinded them so badly, they feel so good in darkness, they just forget the light they desire. oh man!

oh God, shed light into their lives. they need You badly.
forgive them for they know not what they've done.

you are not alone.

loves

2008-07-07T01:46:00.004+08:00

i love my mummy. it's amazing how God brought us through so much till today, we could share so much. it's been long sinced we talked so much, right MUMMY RENEE? it's just amazing. the conflicts we had back in sec2. then God resolved them all. was really looking forward to walking home with you. cos i know i have a lot to tell you. hah! so tempted to tell you stuffs throughout the whole time with you. but hmmm... not really convenient huh. haha. thanks lovely mummy! =D hugs!

most importantly... thank God for placing us together. it's just amazing how God works. =)

got this from luwei:

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
Ephesians 5:1-2

random pictures from sch

2008-07-04T20:59:00.007+08:00

OOO... SEAN'S BACK! i think... lol! but he's gonna do that almost weekly. nothing new. hee!

feel like taking spastic pictures now! =P probably take some tmr in church! that is if i do remember! =X

RANDOM PICTURES: the 1st few were taken quite some time ago... lol!

starting with... SHING! we were rushing for our lectures.

WINNIE! i have no idea how that happened to her after bio lecture. but she walked looking pathetic from LT3 all the way to canteen. lol! looked so pitiful. everyone stared at her along the way. haha!

BERNIE! we bought 'MAMY POKO' for pw experiment today.

still BERNIE! lol!

front, back! adorable!

disecting the pampers.

figuring out how absorbent it is.

MAMY POKO!

that's cotton from inside the pampers that turns all gel-like when in contact with water. gross!

BERNIE! loves!

LIHUAN! one of my friends whom i love to hang out with in pri sch. =P

WINNIE again... she's just obsessed with the gel-like cotton.

SHAWN and WINNIE! NICHOLAS kinda extra.. =P

them again... OH MAN!

TODAY'S LAM'S BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAM!!

KOKLEONG tried to smuggle milo out of sch. he nearly took the whole tin of biscuits home!!

CHENGYONG! the only person willing to take a pic with me while trying to cover his BIG PIMPLE on his nose. LOL!

WINNIE.... AGAIN! this time with the PLAYFUL UNCLE behind us. haha!

HOOIKIM!

YIXUAN AND SHAWN! MUMMY AND SON! look so cute! =X

RANDOM VIDEOS:

PAMPERS MAGIC:

PURE RANDOM:

never alone

2008-07-03T21:07:00.002+08:00

no... none of us are ever alone.

in the world's terms, there's definately someone going thru the same stuffs. or maybe something worse.

that's true of cos. but there's is one more. DEFINATELY there, went thru so much more than we can imagine. non other than Jesus. He's the Son of King. in other words Prince. Prince of the WORLD... THE WORLD. high above every single one of us. yet humbled Himself so much, He suffered for us.

it's such a BIG thing if some big shot president or prime minister stands up for his people. call his people his friends. get to know them, every single one by name and love them. went thru all the presecutions and sufferings and pains and ultimately die for them. how cool. i'll be so honoured if that happened to me.

well, this is even better. the King of kings! the King over all universe. the One who created the heavens and the earth. the One who created you and me. He came down, He called us His friends, He knows every single one of us by name and loves us. He went thru all the presecutions and sufferings and pain and ultimately die for us. greater honour that is. and it's not something that's yet to come, it's something that had already happened!

the way He love us with endless love, unconditional love. it's amazing, it's indescribable.

how can we ever be alone with such awesome God. whether you know Him, trust Him, believe Him, doubt Him, He still loves with unconditional love. we are NEVER ALONE.

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Romans 10:13

verses needed

2008-07-01T21:42:00.008+08:00

saw these verses in georgina's blog...

"No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."
Luke 9:62

"Better a little with righteousness than much gain with injustice."
Proverbs 16:8

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:14

"Why should I fear when the bible says God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7

thanks cal dearie for reminding me this...

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:37-29

changes

2008-07-01T20:11:00.001+08:00

she's probably just not needed where she is.
things do change.

i wanna be everything You want me to be; i wanna live my life for You.
counting on God.

learns

2008-06-30T19:06:00.004+08:00

i'm wanna learn keyboard! learning learning!
CAL DEARIE can teach me!

i wanna learn drums!
wanna ask JASON! cos HUAT forever saying he's not good too when he's definately better than me. LOL!

learnt differentiation today, sort of refreshed what i've already learnt. MAMA! can teach you now!! i remember my stuffs already! =P

YIXUAN keep telling me to stay happy. it’s not that simple. it’s a spiritual thing. it’s something i gotta learn. something i gotta go thru in order to grow. thanks anyway. =)

feverish.

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BURST MY BUBBLE.

NAH, THX AND NITES.

life again

2008-06-28T23:50:00.011+08:00

finally, away from sch work. i have a life again!

---

SEAN'S BACK!! BUT HE'LL BE GONE AGAIN TMR!! GOT SO MUCH TO TELL HIM! =P

SHIFU. sorry. maybe i'm just not the one you should be counting on. this is not the 1st time i kena something like that for you. i'll screw up again when you're gone. connection with ps? i dont know. he was not happy with what i've done. dont want to disappoint you. i'm trying. but i dont think i can. dont pin high hopes on me. probably i'm just not up for it.

DADDY GID says i've changed. have i? lol! i guess i've just grown up...

---

went watch GET SMART with cal dearie, ht mummy, vidas mama and chengyong. lol!
i like chengyong! NO NO! not like like, just like. you know. friends(like the way i like sean, serene, regina...). he's a nice guy, and can be really sweet and caring. cal and ht will agree with me.

met cal and vidas this morning(or rather, afternoon). buddys. met regina. dearie and mama accompanied me back to church. cal and i shitted together. then i went to serve. huat talked. muen talked. was late for cg.
went dinner at the jade with cg.
talked with daddy gid on the way. felt different. felt as if i'm talking to cal. lol! God was there. awesome...
met brendon on the bus. talked, laughed. went the jade eat. talked some more with ziyi and serene. fun! lol! home.

collected my graduation cert and testimonial today. =D they wrote i'm a good girl! talked a little with principal. lol!

---

oh no! i'm gonna fall sick too. i know it. beginning to have sorethroat and all. =( result of not enough rest. STUDIED too much. lol!

---

GOD says, "I knew this was going to happen. I already do. remember? I planned them all. I knew you would go through all these. dont worry, I have won the victory. I won it for you. take it, use it well. trust Me."

not again...

2008-06-26T18:24:00.001+08:00

(woo! so many post today. i'm having test tmr!! but my volcanic notes just wont load. -.-)

NOT AGAIN... I THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER!

I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! NOW AND FOREVER!

misses

2008-06-26T17:41:00.005+08:00

stop. rest. think.

the times i felt You so near

with You i didnt have to fear

You were all that i need

You were all that i want

You are the answer to my missing piece

there's a God-shaped hole in all of us

and the restless soul is searching

there's a God-shaped hole in all of us

and there's a void

only You can fill

For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.

Psalm 109:22

So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

Psalm 143:4

O my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.

Jeremiah 8:18

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in Me."

John 14:1

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

friends.

2008-06-26T16:50:00.005+08:00

... there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24b

my dearie sent me this today. *touched*

it's just amazing how God placed friends around us. close ones, not so close ones, hi-bye ones...
thank God i have very dear friends. friends who stood by me throughout my christian walk. friends who willingly walk this walk with me. friends who listen tho they dont feel like it. friends who give godly advices. friends who see my laugh and watch me cry.
friends that stick closer than a brother.

it's just indescribable. the strong bonds forged. the way we could be so transparent towards one another. it's not just a seasonal thing.

we have almost nothing in common! but God brought us together. i can't think of anyone else but God who could do such thing. such friendships itselves are miracles already.

cal dearie. huiting mummy. daddy SL. i love them all.
the many good friends around. evan, regina, vidas, huat, rebecca, serene, luwei, ziyi, zhiyu, michng, gideon, kenni, jaclyn, shing, winnie, yixuan, bernie, don, qilong, etc. there are so many more to name... from church, from sch, from outside... (not enough time ar, gotta study soon. =P)

God blessed me so so much.
how could i forget, the Greatest Friend of all... Jesus - there for me 24/7.

thank You God.

prayer requests

2008-06-24T20:53:00.002+08:00

took my bio paper today. just pray i can get the grade i want.

fri's geog CT.
fri's chem topical test(engergetics).

tonnes of chinese not done. dont really wanna be bothered by them. but feel bad not doing my work.

A's chinese oral and listening coming up, early july.

i need prayers... thanks! =D

bye holidays!

2008-06-22T23:23:00.003+08:00

man! this is one holiday i dont wanna forget. had so much fun!

studied with luwei, jingwei, jaclyn, serene, yijun, my sis... at luwei's place, muen's place, yijun's place, my place.

went to the christian warehouse thing with kenneth and luwei and met davin there.

east coast fun with huat, jingwei, jieying, liyuan, junze, gabriel, jocelyn, muxin, my sis.

cellgroup outing to east coast.

junze and esther's birthday celebration... at esther's house, at lot1, then at regina's house.

sean's farewell-to-freedom dinner at marche.

talks on the phone...

media outing at warren.

meeting up with cal, huiting and diona just to catch up.
(end up going xavier's place, talked with ana and andyong a little.)

radical conference 2008.

amazing race 2008.

gideon and weiqi's POP.

kenni, kenneth and sylvester's ORD.

s02 outing at sentosa.

4e3 girls at settlers.

project work with winnie, bernie, elysia and walter.

gp with winnie and shing.

how baby joeann brought the whole family together.

a very fruitful holiday. the stuffs God taught me... the people God placed in my life... the events God had in His plan... PLAIN WONDERFUL~

sch starts tmr! just pray pray pray! pray that things will change... pray that i'll not forget all that i've learnt... pray that in the world the same, i'll dare to be the difference...

not only me! KENNETH YEO starting work tmr! WEIQI and GIDEON going back camp tmr! KENNI his uni! LUWEI also starting sch tmr! not forgeting... all the SEC SCH and JC people!

put down the past! the fun, the sorrows, the tears, the laughters. yea, all worth remembering. but not worth having them affect the future, our future, my future!

lets just pray everything will go right~
work for God and bring Him the glory He deserves!

God, it's up to You now

2008-06-20T22:46:00.002+08:00

what can i say...
YIJUN FED ME WELL TODAY! 2 DUMPLINGS, 8 NUGGETS(tho it was luwei, but IT WAS AT YIJUN'S HOUSE), MANGO SAGO, PORRDIGE!

LOL! studied studied. and i'm so dead. i cant even finish one chapter. nope, not cos i'm with yijun and luwei, there's just too much to study!! i did study earlier! 2 weeks earlier. but i still can't make it...
God, it's up to You now.

woo! God taught me a lot thru Josiah(nope, not luwei. it's Josiah in the bible).

Josiah was one of the many kings in Judah.

his dad and granddad were very wicked people. they did everything that was evil and displeased God. cos of that, God wanted to destroy the land, as a punishment for being disobedient. for 2 generations, the people of Judah had been living their lives as pagans, practicing idolatory. that's the kind of environment Josiah grew up in.

but no, that did not stop Josiah from being who God wants him to be. at the age of 8 he ruled as king. he rebuilt the God's temples, torn down all pagan practices, pagan worship. imagine the pressure he had to go through.

yes, he was king, but how about his people. 'what would his people think? would they rebel against him?' those are the possible thoughts that went through his mind. how about his advisors and people around him? definately they'll be discouraging him from all this reforming. Josiah stood by his faith.

he stood for what he believed in and ignored whatever that stood in his way. he choose the narrow way, the difficult way. and he made it. he made it through the pressure as king, the pressure from his people, the pressure from the people he work with.

there was once, a priest found the Book of Covenant in the temple and brought it to Josiah. Josiah made his people and himself obey all that was in the Book of Covenant. for generations, the Passover was not celebrated, but Josiah celebrated one of the biggest, most grand Passover in history.

because of that, God pushed back the 'destruction date' of the land to after Josiah pass away, so he won't have to witness the fall of his kingdom.

that's focusing on not self, but God. that's revolution. that's radical.
that's what i should be learning.

prayer request

2008-06-18T22:20:00.003+08:00

COMMON TEST STARTING TMR! i'm so gonna flunk!
pray for me! i'm gonna need all the wisdom i can get! i want my 'A's! =P
THANKS! =D

tmr's math! i'm so dead...

YI amazing race 2008

2008-06-16T13:11:00.004+08:00

team leader: DADDY GIDEON! route 4! i heard it was one of the most difficult route! so it's good we managed to finish 5 out of 6 stations huh!

bus ride to little india! woo! that was a stun.

nong nong!

we thought it was sugar cane. lol! thanks KEITH and STANLEY! end up it was umbrella in canto. lol!

done by eunice... thanks ar. and she did that cos of what gid said. double thanks ar. lol! hey! it was a long time sinced i kayak kay! =P

walking walking. we were tired already! =P

"AHLAKABOMBOM! MALAKONGXI!" -our identity! LOL!

'a courtesy from Print Matters' =D

woah! eunice is good. she elaborated everything in her blog! everything we did during the whole race!

http://www.euny-x.blogspot.com/

i may walk but i'll not stop.

His goodness

2008-06-13T22:11:00.003+08:00

Your plans to prosper me, not destroy me

Your power that gives me strength, when I'm weary

Your divine rest that falls upon me

Your comfort to my soul sets me free

east coast!

2008-06-13T21:39:00.006+08:00

that's what all of us noobsters did.

jieying and me. we were the 1st to reach the pier!

us 4 at the pier.

nice scene. look closely, it's actually huat and junze.

zoomed in huat and junze. that's the best my hp camera can go.

resting at kopitiam

jocelyn and me at kopitiam

what can i say? it's evident. US ARMY.

waiting waiting for last pair of skates to return.

INJURED:

JOCELYN

WEEHUAT

GABRIEL. gosh! he fell so many many times!

bus ride back.

the need to be alone.

i enjoyed myself today. i really did!

woke up freaking early. was gonna be late again. well, we weren't the latest. huat and jocelyn were later.

travelled to east coast. ate breakfast, slacked, then went rent skates.

gosh! my 1st time skating in east coast. the last time i skated was at least 4 years ago at a basketball court, and i didnt really skate, i more of walked.

got the hang of it at the beginner's corner. then skated to the pier. more of being pulled. jieying cycled and pulled me most of the way. fell down, but nobody saw. thank God jieying was not far ahead. only jieying, junze, huat and me went all the way to the pier. the rest stopped at the kopitiam. went back. rested there.

headed back. boy was i tired. thank God junze had a bike. i skate part of the journey. but i was too slow, and i can't make it on my own. end up junze pulled me along.

fell again along the way. this time the impact was so great my head hurts, even until now. didnt wanna get up. really pain and tired.
it was not easy trying to get up again.

well, we overshot the time, had to pay extra charges. went bk for lunch. the interaction among all of us was fun.

went down to south havens. xavier's house. didnt wanna change and stuffs. but cal talked me into changing and washing up. it did felt better, more refreshed. slacked a while at xavier's then went to buddy with cal and andy ong. had a really good talk. didnt know i had something to cry about.
guess that's what happens when we dont stop and think.

sometimes, time off alone is good. busy-ness just tend to get in the way. forever we're occupied with something, be it computer or tv or studies or even friends. sometimes, we just need to be alone. to spend some time thinking. spend some time in just God's presence. did that, it felt good.

gosh! perseverance. such a easy yet difficult word. it just means not to give up. but to put it in actions, it's just not as easy as it seems. God have been showing me a lot about perseverance.

this road with God, it's never gonna be easy. as much as words can be said. actions are always a lot more difficult, a lot more difficult than we can imagine. just like skating, we'll definately fall. it's a choice to pick ourselves up again and move on.

It's the way we have to trust
It's the way we have to persevere
That's not easy

It's the world we live in
It's the desires of our hearts
That's not easy

Your word says You give grace
Your word says You give mercy
Your word says You're forgiving
Your word says You're faithful
But Your word never said it would be easy
It's never easy

The moment I chose You
I chose the narrow gate
No it's never gonna be easy
But still i choose to hang on

weird weird

2008-06-12T12:53:00.002+08:00

hmmm. weird day.

woke up, and house so quiet.

going out with 4e3 girls, not my usual gang.

sean's in army already. gosh! thank God for him. cal's in m'sia, then sean's around. now sean's in ns, cal's coming back. =D

renewal camp people coming back.

dian officially had a transfer of employer, no longer staying here with my family.

so many changes.
at least there's one change that'll be good. the coming back of people from renewal camp! =D

what nice girls do

2008-06-11T19:48:00.004+08:00

DADDY SEAN!! ENJOY YOUR LAST DAY BEFORE ARMY!!
(i know 9.30am is a GREAT challenge for you. =P)

DADDY GID!! ENDURE YOUR LAST DAY BEFORE END OF BMT!!

KENNI!! SLYVESTER!! KENNETH YEO!! HAPPY FREEDOM!!

yupp, i know i'm a nice girl!

woo! i stayed at home the WHOLE DAY! that's rare. been going out a lot. study study!! luwei and jaclyn came my house study!! =D

got back my hp! cant wait to send it for repair! lol!

common test so so near! just next week! nervous nervous! so dead!

LOL!

tired! tired!

2008-06-11T00:11:00.002+08:00

woke up early cos SOME PEOPLE just dont wanna reply me, so i dont know what time i should be leaving home. realised that i've totally forgotten that i'm supposed to meet shing and winnie for GP. gosh! rushed to IMM buy stuffs, then rushed down to winnie's. finished GP then went down to meet sean low and kenneth yeo.

met them, then they immediately tell me they going vivo le. cheat me la. went to vivo. was kinda hoping mummy would say i need to go home for dinner. end up mummy asked me to just reach home by 11. went to marche straight. lol! sean low lost my bottle there. lol! 1st time hung out with this group of people... hmm... i was the youngest there! then we slacked outside marche then decided to go eat beancurd. ended up at the satay house at clarkquay. wanted to eat. i was quite hungry actually, then mummy called. aiya, lazy ar, so just ask her come fetch me lo.

to WINNIE and SHING: so so sorry. i know i was a little, uh no, quite, no no... i was 'zhong se qin you'. lol! 1st time ar. hee! i still love you guys. =P

i wanted you to send me back. got so so much to tell you.

stupidity

2008-06-10T11:41:00.000+08:00

dumb.

unappreciated.

His.

2008-06-06T19:58:00.004+08:00

EAST TO WEST

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness

The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest

I don’t want to end up where You found me

And it echoes in my mind

Keeps me awake tonight

I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West

And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned

But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west

‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been

Rising up in me again

In the arms of Your mercy I find rest

‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west

From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins

Endless reminding of my sin

And time and time again

Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in

Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

I know You’ve washed me white

Turn my darkness into life

I need Your peace to get me through

To get me through this night

I can’t live by what I feel

About the truth Your word reveals

I’m not holding on to You

But You’re holding on to me

You’re holding on to me

when your mind just cant shut up

2008-06-06T19:05:00.006+08:00

woo! what a hectic week.

went out with...
luwei and kenneth yeo on mon to the christian warehouse thingy.
s02 and cal on tues, just eat together.
s02 on wed to sentosa.
luwei and 'gang' on thurs to study and celebrate esther's birthday.
the 'gang' and media on fri to celebrate esther's and junze's birthday.

enjoy hanging out with these friends.

yesterday was crazy. blindfolded esther from her house to lot1. lol! on the way trying to settle media stuffs. =P

today was good too. supposed to wake up early to give morning calls. end up i overslept. managed to only wake huat up. eh... celebrate celebrate at esther's house, then at lot1 with junze. went slack around at the arcade. then zhaolun, huat, regina and me went over to regina's house first, where huat cooked for us. lol! this was the 1st time someone else besides my maid and family cooked for me. wow! and it had to be a guy. shocked, in doubt. lol! hmm.. but famous cooks tend to be guys huh. uhh... the food was okay ba. (HUAT, YOU FORGOT DESERT! LOL!) yupp. he made appetizer, main course, then supposedly desert, laid the table, then went to bed. lol! oh oh, regina's sister came back in time to see huat cook too. her sister seems like a fun person. =) then the rest came, watch 'bu neng shuo de mi mi', then left, cos sis got piano. woke huat up the 2nd time today, i guess he was late?

got really quiet. i became like that even before the rest came. nothing happened, and i wasn't really that tired. when i'm tired, i talk rubbish, i dont keep quiet. i just had nothing to say. did wanna just talk rubbish, but hmm... yea. i just had nothing to say. so kept quiet, which led to sian-ness.
it's really dangerous when you keep your mouth shut and the only noise made is by your brain.

yea, it tends to lead to negativity and sorts. worse, spiritual attacks. that's why the bible says it's important to guard our hearts and minds. these are vital areas that the devil attacks. and if he succeeds, boy you're in trouble.

yea, that's how knowledge gives false spirituality.
but i'm proud to say i didnt kena any attacks.

how about this? have you ever heard of one-sided friendships? we've definately heard of one-sided love relationships, but how about friendships? do such exist? i think so, 'cause i think i'm facing one. lol! nah, not me, a friend of mine who shall not be named. it takes 2 hands to clap. my thinking had always been this: even if your friend is passive, you should just take the initiative. but when it really happens to you, i guess it's hard to say. i know, you'll just feel as if you're giving yourself to that friend, being very thick-skinned, going forward as if you 2 had been really close friends. and you'll just think,'if you wanna be that way, fine! then i'll be passive too. maybe we just can't be the good friends i thought we could be.'

oh wells. what can i say? let go and let God girl. no point thinking so much. let ignore and let things go naturally. i'm sure things will turn out fine! =) i hope.

invisibility.
significant, not.
just acquaintance.

radical conference '08

2008-06-01T23:21:00.002+08:00

gosh! it was good!

went for the leaders session(it's supposed to be for ministries serving in that event). didnt wanna go. thank God i went. it was really good. the whole this. gosh! every single one message was for me! just pray i'll remember them and keep that momentum going back in school.

woo! media.. hmm. did totally different stuffs. made a little more noise. provided some eye-power. lol!

and deyan went for 2 sessions! uhh, i was a bit afraid to praise and worship in front of him. 'what will he think of me? what will he tell the people in school?' yea, stupid devil. i decided to push those thoughts aside and do what i usually would do. yea, great stuffs just happen when you choose to do things God's way.

woo! and i saw the young-ness in pastor daniel! cool! lol!! =P

honestly, i wanted to be thought as 'the christian girl' in school. then i realised i dont need man to see it, i want to be doing it for God.

PASTOR PRESTON, nono, PASTOR VULTRON talked about bringing the message back to my world. overcoming my condition, overcoming my crowd. but i realised i have not been about to overcome my crowd. i'm just so bothered by 'what will people think'. think of me as 'the christian girl', 'the holy girl', or 'the weird girl'? it's scary.

then he talked about us not fitting in. we're called to be aliens of the world. yea, that's something i've definately forgotten. it's so difficult to not fit in. i'm someone easily influenced. and in JJ, it's not like in FHS, where i could just hang out with a group of godly friends and support one another throughout the week. i have not godly friends in class. and the godly friends around in school, our timetable clashes.

it's gonna be hard keeping that momentum going.

but it's in His freedom that we live. it's in His freedom that i live. God showed me the meaning to this song, this bridge. i'll offer devotion. God, it has gotta be You.

just another weekend

2008-05-27T21:17:00.006+08:00

woohoo! busy busy hol! hee! it's only 2 days of hols and i'm already complaining.
nono! can't complain. hee!

last fri, crashed line night with shing, winnie, bernie, huimui, kim. lol! fun fun. randomly, coincidentally got to know qilong's fren! so fun! haha. i just anyhow dance with a camper, who happened to be from ycs, happened to be a councillor, happened to be a dbter, happened to be in oba(grace)'s lg, YONG YAO! i got really excited! lol!

sun went to see 1-WEEK-OLD BABY JOEANNE. gosh, she is cute!

yesterday, banni house comm interview. honestly, i dont wanna be house comm. too busy ar. lalala~ then went do project at je lib. yea, we got stuffs done! all our to-do-list are checked!! woohoo!! finally, for once, we're on schedule! =D

met mr sim today for pw consultation at imm. lol! yea, he said ours is okay, so far so good! woohoO! happy happy! =D met cal. end up spend only 1 hour studying, the rest of the time shopping, chatting, eating. loL! I LOVE MY DEARIE!

sat was most awesome of all. it was the best. God kinda like scolded me? whatever pastor said, i'm guilty of it. unknowingly, i've created an idol of my own, my 'modified' god.

i'm gonna rectify everything man! things are not gonna stay that way! i want the fire! i want the passion! i want the desperation! things are gonna change! watch out world! i'm coming back, stronger, and not alone... i'm with God!

deyan and sophia going radical conference! siang, tong and amanda not confirm... but i have faith! pray pray pray! =D

my niece who said SHE LOVE ME-FERLYN! =D

the kids! yea, i'm still a kid!! CLIFFORD, REEVE, FERLYN, SIS and ME!

DAJIE (cousin), FERLYN, SIS, ME and BABY JOEANNE!

BABY JOEANNE! what a precious creation loved by God.

cute pose! and she's smiling! =D

baby joeanne: I LOVE MY DADDY

baby joeanne: I LOVE MY MUMMY

SHING, WINNIE, ME!

us, after line night! =D

BERNIE!

BERNIE, WINNIE, ME, SHING!

our creation! cute eh! together with our fingers! CUTER! =X

from WINNIE to..... AHEM!

a picture speaks a thousand words.

campers

2008-05-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

i love my campers.

LG7(line), LG6(cdayl), yuanching sec.

i know i'm loved by them.

missing you guys.

my life was changed.

these campers were the cause.

still the same

2008-05-23T23:59:00.002+08:00

drained.

finally it's hols.

but the pressure's still there.

busy busy.

projects, church, sch work, leader.

busy busy.

DRAINED.

quiz

2008-05-21T23:27:00.006+08:00

1. Do you wish to get married?
Duh~ i'm a girl, of course i want.

2. What is your favourite animal?
i like MOST!

3. Who is the person you trust the most?
trust MOST? God.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I dont know. but i choose to have confidence in all i do, cos i have confidence in God!

5.If you have a dream to come ture,what would it be?
the WHOLE WORLD turn to Christ. 'and the truth shall set them free!'

6. Are you satisfied with yourself?
of cos! i am created fearfully and wonderfully in God's image!

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
God. life without Him... i cant imagine. it'll be scary.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
YES!

9. Have you broken someone's heart that he tried to commit suicide?
i'm not that influencial.

10. What do you like about yourself?
huh? everything? told you i have confidence in God and who God created me to be.

11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
love me (like duh.) and love God!

12. Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
OF COURSE!

13. Do you treasure your family?
OF COURSE!

14. What do you dislike the most?
sin! (tho i do sin. hey! i'm human too! i'm still learning to hate sin. =D)

15. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
uhh.. hope? i already have someone always there for me 24/7! yupp, my almighty God.

16. What do you regret most in life?
nah, i dont let regrets bother me. what's done cannot be undone.

17. What kind of friends do you hope to be in your friend's eye?
a good one of course! and a godly one too!

18. Do you love your friends?
YES!

19. Which date you like the most?
no specific. i love every day i live with God.

20.Why i sound so holy and religious and godly like ALL OF A SUDDEN? (my qns)
cos God sent a really really close fren to speak to me. it's been a long time since i hear from God and it feels really really good! i miss God. i miss the past where i was so close with God. He showed me the truth. and THE TRUTH HAVE SET ME FREE! thank God for CAL DEARIE and thank God for Himself! =X

can i not ask anyone else to do this? lol!
QILONG: DONE!

You light up my life

2008-05-21T22:25:00.003+08:00

You called my name, reached out Your hand

Restored my life

And I was redeemed, the moment You entered my life

So it's with everything I am

I reach out for Your hand

The hope, the change the second chance I've gained

On You I throw my life, casting all my fears aside

How could greater love than this ever possibly exist

How could we live but not see

Your sacrifice, Your glory

You reign You reign

Over everything Lord You reign

With power and justice divine

Over everything Lord You reign

See now the King of glory

Love of God become my calling

Father I surrender

All I am to You forever

I took my troubles to the Lord;
I cried out to Him and He answered my prayer.
Rescue me, O Lord, from liars and from all deceitful people
I am tired of living among people who hate peace.
I search for peace but when I speak of peace, they want war!

Psalm 120:1-2, 6-7

Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,

I will not be disgraced.

Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do His will.

And I know that I will not be put to shame.

Isaish 50:7

We can make our own plans,

But the Lord gives the right answers.

People may be pure in their own eyes,

But the Lord examines their motives.

We can make our own plans,

But the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:1-2, 9

I love You, Lord;

You are my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my saviour;

My God is my rock, in whom I find protection.

He is my shield, the power that saves me,

And my place of safety.

I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,

And He saved me from my enemies.

Psalm 18:1-3

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,

These things I remember as I pour out my soul:

How I used to go with the multitude,

with shouts of joy and thanksgiving.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

By day the LORD directs his love,

at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.

Psalm 42

For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

2 Corinthians 2:15

media outing!

2008-05-18T18:57:00.003+08:00

MEDIA MEDIA!!

lol! was a bit too high that night. no choice ar, i just came back from banni camp/sports day that day. lol! it's natural that i'm high. went pastamania for dinner. lol! then went warren to bowl. LOL! i throw face until cannot throw already. mich lo and i talked about guys in sch on the way to warren. lol! so joke! gotta exchange more info ya, mich! =X post the pics taken when i get them - all in muen's camera~ lol! =p

sat church. lol! i was still a bit crazy ar. made more noise in CG. lol! was on media duty. a bit messy ar, especially at the end of sermon. huat suddenly call me, i was like 'huh? why he call? not in church meh?' then he ask me on keyboard. i was like what keyboard? loL! and when i finally know what he talking about, i just hang the phone. lol! sorry ya, huat, too excited already. hee! =P

went to see 2-days-old baby joanne today. aww. she's sooooo small. loL! so fragile. it's so amazing how God creates us. from a sperm and an egg, to a zygote, to a fetus, to a baby, to a child, to a teen, to who i am today! took couple of pics too - all with dajie~ lol!=p

no wonder He is God and i am not!

random stuffs:
mine and zixin's bag! =P ADIDAS! it's not fake kay, ZIYI!

made by mdm seetow for the whole class!! so sweet right? love her!

DEYAN and me! lol! =D

YIXUAN and me! TODAY'S HER BIRTHDAY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIXUAN!!

sorry ya, didnt go the celebration. )= I STILL LOVE YOU! =X

octopus (given by junjie(chanj) and i cant remember who on my bday last year) and heart (given by regina phua on valentines' day!)

BANNISTER HOUSE CAMP '08

2008-05-16T15:45:00.003+08:00

BLUE IS THE COLOUR, BLUE BLUE'S THE COLOUR!

gosh!! we were like one of the craziest, most-bonded class - 08S02!!!
o ah o ah o ah o, 2 ah 2 ah 2 ah 2, o ah 2, 2 ah o, o2 o2 ALL THE WAY!!
i screamed like crazy, scream until throat super pain la. miraculously, i dont have sorethroat, didnt lose my voice. and i didnt kena any muscle ache. woohoO!!

didnt bathe last night. lol! what's the difference man? i'm already like soaking wet from the water games. WHAT'S A CAMP WITHOUT WATER GAMES RIGHT? loL! after i bathe, i was like telling winnie I SO CHIO. lol! one of the councillors, jerrald, heard sia. lol! so joke. then from then onwards he CALL ME CHIO BU! loL!! thanks, i know it's true~ =x

woo~ being a camper again is like SO FUN! no saikang jobs, debriefs in the middle of the night, scoldings from mr chua and mr leow. =P lol! lalala~

one of the most memorable moments was night walk with shing, yixuan, winnie, walter, pick-up-poo and hamster. loL! so EXCITING!! =x

oh oh! i decided to withdraw from westzone camp. yea. hee!
sorry kim.

been learning a lot throughout camp. God taught me stuffs too. learning to be who i am for God. learning to love like God. learning learning learning. woohoo! fulfilling! =D

NOBODY CAN BE A BETTER WANZI THAN WANZI HERSELF!

busy weekend

2008-05-12T21:28:00.001+08:00

woo! after banni camp, went to church. so scared i was late, plus i gotta teach esther, so cabbed down. loL!

everything was... hmmm... okay at first. then you came, not looking okay. yea, even esther could tell, so i told her to just pray. well, i guess i made you more angry when i made a terrible mistake. it's like fundamental, yet i was too complacent. you got so fed-up and ignored me when i wanted to take over. rah! i was terribly affected. wanted so much to run to the toilet and cry. but cannot, cannot leave esther there alone. rubbish la. i sms-ed you and was ignored again. forget it. it got worse when you took me as invisible, you acted as if telling me you rather do it yourself than let me do. doubt you realised it, but when i cried, it was because of everything that happened. forget it.

lalala~ well, things got better in CG. yea, affected, but didnt wanna let this affect CG, affect small group. rushed off immediately after church to NTU. woohoo! talentime!

dad fetched me to the auditorium and i met zhaomian and my dear dear frens, RADI and KARI! lalala~ during interval, showed radi who deyan is and radi thinks he's good looking? loL! he kinda is la. =p crapped, talked, took pics. then went in for 2nd half. the whole this was okay la. especially when YIHAO sang, it was so beautiful! oh oh! saw camper JOVINSON! lol! fun fun! =p

after that, wanted to wait for dad to fetch me back, then dad suddenly called ask me go eat supper with frens.. lol! rare, 1st time! haha. so i went out with cal, huiting, chengyong, kokleong and edward for supper. met benny, christoper that gang. 1st time so close talk to him? lol! happy happy, we not as paiseh as before already. hee! =D

went out on sun with dajie and her kids. haha. shopped at bugis. seriously tired la. lol!

slept late last night. rah! some people dont need go sch all the way till thurs. slacker! had bannister leaders meeting. crazy la. haha.. that stupid 'exciting exciting' guy again. lol! wanted to go eat steamboat with luwei their gang. rah! fun fun being a banni leader.. lalala~

gotta chiong tutorials, study for math lecture test. suddenly so scared i cant be promoted sia. i screwed up my spa today. sobs!

bannister leader camp '08

2008-05-10T12:02:00.002+08:00

woohoo! bannister leaders camp! =D

friday
shall not elaborate on sch. loL! rushed home get camp stuffs. late for bio tutorial. lalala~ then QILONG came! woohoo! rushed down to look for him. lol! so crazy.

went to rugby match. saw the NY ruggers!! gosh! the 1st guy i saw was TERRENCE, my ah gong!! then my bro, ZUYAO, then ogl, ERIC! so excited!!! but didnt see joshua, tedson and dominic. lol! missed NY rugby days, tho i pon a lot of trainings. loL!

went back sch, dinner.. lol! kinda weird. our group quite quiet? or rather i was quiet, no bernie crap with me la. lol! SSS(song singing session) was crazy! all the craps. mr leow calls that 'bastard' one another. yea, sounds crude. loL!

saturday
woohoo! one of my fav morning PTs. lol! fun fun. sang some army songs. lol! reminds me of DADDY GID. lol! then had dance, games, to drag time, cos outside raining, cant play wet games. haha. and i was sabo-ed to dance with rayner? heng, many others were sabo-ed up too. lalala!

i wasn't the only one being sabo-ed. theresa!! woohoo!! dancing queen!! sooooo exciting!! =p

hey, i only thought rayner was cute. lol! so paiseh! i dont want another benny incident to repeat. lol! there are like so many other guys(~13) who i think is cute, good-looking too la. loL! he really is cute la. wasted can't stay on for water games, no chance to interact yet. lol!! nono, got, got dance with him, then her there 'exciting exciting' and made me dance wrongly. lol! so malu. stupid guy. nevermind, still got next week's banni house camp! wahaha!!
gosh!! i'm rubbish-ing!

lalala~ going church, duty! yay!! media!! then talentime! lol! i dont know how to go ntu and i'm going there in my media tee. who cares? RADI will be there! woohoo!! =D

crazily busy may

2008-05-06T21:12:00.003+08:00

bannister leader camp - 9th to 10th may (fri and sat)
gotta leave early, rush home wash up, rush to church.
media duty.
then rush to ntu after church for talentime finals.
bannister house camp - 15th to 16th (thurs and fri)
sports day - 16th
west zone camp (not confirmed. there's a chance i'll withdraw) - 22nd to 24th (thurs to sat).
might be late for church.
radical conference - 30th and 31st.
not forgeting the tests and spa i have during the weeks.

rah!

busy busy busy. daddy gid will be sian if he knew i'm a bannister leader. lol! =p
lalala~

aL .::. k e r n - ni .::. operation ready date .::. d r e a m - i n g says:
the false assumption of busyness close us away frm ppl..

<3

2008-05-06T21:09:00.002+08:00

there is no one else for me

i love You endlessly

another weekend gone.

2008-05-04T19:49:00.003+08:00

great sat, great movie -THE SECOND CHANCE. got back my 1st love.
i dont wanna stand on sinking sand anymore...
JESUS... THE ROCK ON WHICH I STAND. THE ROCK ON WHICH I TRUST.

went to buddy haogies sat morning! finally know where it is. lol!! with CALISTA DEARIE and VIDAS MAMA. loL! how i love them! =D
then had some miscommunications with some people. got really pissed. haha. kinda obvious. i wasn't the only one pissed. haha. DADDY GID pulled me to the back and ask me what's wrong. hmmm.. everytime he does that, there must really be something wrong. lol! this time i'm smart enough, i tell him a bit? at least i said a bit and there's a chance there's someone praying for me. the last few time similar stuffs happened, i didnt tell him anything, i end up 'wounded' seriously by the devil. okay, end up everyting went well... got back my 1st love. continue cellgroup, etc.

my sister's 1st day of media duty. rah! lalala~ helped out a bit with the cd sales cos davin is left alone. hee!

today, supposed to be studying.. got geog test, chem spa. and i procrastinated the whole day. lol! rah! i'm so so dead. praying praying. lol! pray for me too? =p

tmr's mon already. so fast. oh oh.. i wanna go the june renewal camp with cal! lol! we'll see how it goes ya, scared mummy unhappy. hee!

radical conference!! can't wait can't wait! hee! media media. i'm beinging to love media. lalala~

ESTEE!! if you happen to pop by here again.... just wanna say i was really happy yesterday!! just so so long didnt see you around and didnt talk to you. hee! and happier when you said you do pop by my blog! wahaha!! i know you love me!! =X

only God is God

2008-05-04T18:35:00.004+08:00

And the pain falls like a curtain

On the things I once called certain

And I have to say the words I fear the most

I just don’t know

And the questions without answers

Come and paralyze the dancer

So I stand here on the stage afraid to move

Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must

On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not

I can only see a part

Of the picture He's painting

God is God and I am man

So I'll never understand it all

For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder

And I’m filled with awe and wonder

Til the only burning question that remains

Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches
Of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable
For to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

God Is God by Steven Curtis Chapman

His plans are not totally revealed to us. we only see part of the picture and sometimes, we just choose to disobey, to not do what we're told, just cos we dont know what's waiting for us in the end. stop being so self-centered, looking to only our own interest. God has a far greater plan than what we can see. God just wants the best for us. just do what we're told and in the end, we'll definately gain in unexpected ways.
For only God is God.

media!

2008-05-01T12:47:00.003+08:00

ARGH!! I'M REALLY DOING MEDIA DUTY WITH MY SIS. loL! stupid muen! =p

so fun sia. got new members, finally can shake leg like huat did. loL! when jieying they all came in he ask me teach. now my turn see jieying teach people. wahaha!!

radical conference coming up!! cant wait! =p woohoo! =D

CALISTA: you changed your blog ma. then lazy link back le la. at least i still do pop by your blog and tag right! =P hee!
LUWEI: lol! ehh. i thought i did link you lo. hee! =p
TEDSON: TEDSON!! lol! yea, i still remember you kay! wahaha.
QILONG: nice one man. loL! that means i think of george quite frequently also la. yuck! =p
SHING: of cos.... think of your huayi campers and octo guy. lol! really la... lets go play kay? hee!
KENNETHYEO: LOL! of cos it's good. you posted it also right? lol! junze got it from you, i got it from him. hee!

worth watching...

2008-04-29T19:53:00.006+08:00

love this video:

lost generation...NOT!

scary...

dont wanna end up like that. )=

back on track

2008-04-29T18:03:00.003+08:00

how fast... 1 more month to JUNE HOLIDAYS!! woohoo!

test, test and more test every week, almost everyday there's a test. and A's chinese? crazy! i'm so not prepared for it. at least i kinda have a break this week. hee!

camp, camp and more camp. shing might wanna be bannister house comm? then go for bannister house comm camp, bannister house camp compulsory for all J1s, and another upcoming west zone camp? feel like going sia. anyway that camp is on the last week of sch what. but no one wanna go with me. )= trying to psycho shing. wahaha!

guitar guitar~ woohoo. played guitar for cellgroup like every week? lalala~

ohh.. went back fuhua today. so boring can? all the teachers like went home or busy. rah! kinda missed the days.

lalala~ went friendster. still stunned at the fact dondon and qilong are in the same class. and junwen and yiying and amanda still so close. jealous, jealous. lol!

rah! dont like it when people get angry, they start talking rubbish. "mati mati(die in malay)..." what's their prob man. that shouldnt be the way la. but i think i'm kinda guilty of it too. at least i dont tell people to go die. sucky attitude.

not bad huh, as much as i dont like it, at least i'm not angry or anything. woohoo! i've got the peace back! maybe just a little, but i got it back! and the joy too! happy happy!

things are getting back on track... just hopefully when things go wrong, i wont be 'led astray' again...

random stuffs

2008-04-22T18:41:00.002+08:00

woohoo! happy happy. i saw a camper outside school and he still recognises me. lol! and said hi to me. yupp, that's none other than GEORGE from YCS! lol! and i throw face in front of him la. i couldnt remember him tho i find him quite familiar. hee! he told me he was george, then i was thinking of fiona. loL! then i walked off without saying bye. hee! but happy sia, a camper still remember me and said hi to me. woohoo!

test test, stress. loL! math ar... difficult sia. mug mug mug. then tmr maybe meeting cal they all. and i forgot i got chem test on thurs. high chance pon-ing cca to study before i meet the girls. hee! lalala~

ohoh.. and today, shing and winnie said FERNANDO's shuai! gosh!! lol! actually, not bad la. that time we were choosing OG23 eye-candy, we were choosing between fernando and junwen. lol! junwen got the most votes in the end. hee! and and NY soccer came JJ again. haha. this time the slacked around in our canteen. and i caught sight of an ATHENA OGL. haha! then start remembering people like eric, hengsiong, meixuan, emelyn, etc. haha. cool. hope they come back JJ again, then i'll go up to him and say hi. loL! used to throwing face as a JJ-ian, as a student from 08S02 and as a J1 leader. loL! and jasper(JJ J1) always remind me of tedson(NY J2). =p loL!

i wanna be everything You want me to be
i wanna live my life for You

You placed in me everything i need to go on
i wanna show my whole world You

You're the only one for me

anti-emo!

2008-04-17T19:22:00.002+08:00

someone said my posts were all so emo. lol! NYJC frens would know... how can i be emo? my OG-tee wrote 'ANTI-EMO' remember? hee!!

anyway, grace(aka oba) said i look pretty today! happy happy. hee!!

lalala~ i wanna donate blood! hee! but i scared i under weight sia. and i scared it's gonna be painful. and i scared i'll faint. walter fainted today la. scary. but i really want to. dont care, just go for it. oh no! if i donate blood tmr means i cannot go PC? nono.. i wanna go PC! =( for once(in JJ) i'm so looking forward to PC. sobs.

ohoh. and i predict tmr's gonna be an emo day. loL!! i just said i'm anti-emo. wait, hear me out first. tmr's 1st period is bio lecture. and we having lecture test. how to not emo? bad start for the day sia. so so much to memorise and i'm only half-way through. kinda dead. hee!

i'll pray for no spammer today. =p

i need...

2008-04-13T23:36:00.002+08:00

i need wisdom
i need patience
i need energy
i need strength
i need time management
i need anger management
i need rest
i need God
i need you

qing ming

2008-04-13T13:12:00.003+08:00

went to pay respect to my grandmother today. probably cos God have once again captured my heart, i feel so filthy at that place. my dad held the incense, then touched me. i dare not say anything, but i just feel so dirty.

then an uncle said, in the world there is only one God(glad he knows that). but to him, God just showed himself to different people in different forms. like to chinese, god is buddha, to malays, god is their malay god. so crappy.

next time, when i die, i will donate all my healthy organs. dont bother coming 'visit' every year or something. cremate me then put me back into soil where i can contribute back to the ecosystem.

having such 'praying' practices only contributes to air pollution, take up land space, waste money, waste time, waste food, waste patrol. hate it.

love men, hate their sins.

truth unplugged

2008-04-13T12:40:00.002+08:00

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

31To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:31-32

i always knew i have been a lukewarm christian. there's nothing to be ashamed about that. i know i'm going through a relatively dry season and i know something has to be done. but many time, i have chose not to do anything. for the past 2 weeks, going to church have been a routine for me. i went to church with a hardened heart. i chose not to open my heart to God. i chose to live my life the way i want to.

but yesterday, i made the decision to go to church with an open heart. to go to church expecting a word from God. to go to church knowing God's there and He'll bring me back.

halfway through sermon yesterday, i felt the great plans God have for me and my future, the plans that i've missed due to my stubborn-ness, my sinful nature.

with every lie, counter it with a truth.

one thing pastor said that really hit me hard. identify lies, then make changes. however, in the beginning, when changes are made, it feels uncomfortable. but we gotta practice and practice and it becomes natural and finally, it becomes part of me. this is definately something i gotta learn to do.

knowledge had given me false spirituality.

16 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
17 O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.
Psalms 59:16-17

5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Colossians 3:9-10

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-38

Jesus exposed lies with truth!

it's about our priorities.

missing them

2008-04-11T23:18:00.003+08:00

gosh! just went to NY's sch web. how i miss NY. the great friends made there, the times where we would go gym, squash court during breaks to play. canteen where we slacked and ate together. atrium where we mass danced and we were the only OG there. classrooms, LTs, where we had lessons, ate sweets, and zuyao dao me. there were really bitter sweet times. mount faber expediture. vivo with elysia and yiying. morning train rides with junwen and elijah. touch rugby trainings with lichun. going home after rugby with fernando and junwen. train rides home with licheun and regina phua. sharing stuffs with lichuen. Da NanYang race. games day where the girls 'boo-ed' the guys. OG outing watching P.S. I love you.

the many stuffs went throughed together were countless.

now, we have our own lives, our own frens. will we still be as close as before?

missing NY. missing OG23. missing PAE days.

gosh!

2008-04-07T21:29:00.002+08:00

dude, can you take more initiative?

ramdom today.

2008-04-04T22:31:00.003+08:00

woah. after 2 months in JJ, this is the 1st time i go for lessons on a friday. unfamiliar with the timetable and which classrooms to go for which lesson. lol! end up lost with shing. hee! late for math tutorial. =p

rah-rah! haha! very little people came today. mostly J1 leaders. we cheered, danced, as usual. haha. was supposed to go for a briefing, but suddenly nose bleed sia. went to toilet. by the time i was done, briefing started. didnt dare go into the room, so end up waited outside. hee! the briefing was supposed to be only 10 mins la. but it dragged for 30-45mins. loL! i waited for that long. -.- then i have no partner cos i didnt go briefing. haha. thank God deyan agreed to go, or i'll be a lonely lost sheep tmr. hee!

went je, supposedly popular with shing and leon. kinda weird, but dont want shing to feel bad, so asked fiona, peiting and sophia along. hee! end up went to kbox look for the ycs people. haha. chinleh's birthday. cant tell he's a really sweet guy too! haha! we for dinner with shing and leon then went pop, waited for qilong. made a bet with peiting. i betted that qilong wont send me back. haha! i lost. -.- pizza. rah! ex sia. no money already la. =p hee!

HAPPY BE-LATED BIRTHDAY CHINLEH!!

home sweet home. tired. tmr another rah-rah at vjc. woah. 7.30am in sch. lalala~ going crazy(not in a positive way)! lol!

rebuked

2008-04-04T22:21:00.003+08:00

God scolded me with this verse...

22 So Samuel said: “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. 23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king.”

1 Samuel 15:22-23

a verse speaks a thousand words. what God really wants is not just words and sacrifices of time and energy. He wants obedience, obedience at all cost.

far away

2008-04-03T20:48:00.003+08:00

Far Away by Nickelback

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

And you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it all

I'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

'Cause I needed

I need to hear you say

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing

Hold on to me and, never let me go

<3

2008-04-02T19:34:00.003+08:00

MY HEART FOR GOD AND GOD ALONE.

we're just friends. probably not even good ones. imu.

slacker

2008-04-01T16:05:00.002+08:00

slacker. yup, that was refering to me. hee!

i'm supposed to be online doing PW research. gosh! i just can't help it la. you know how boring it is to just work all day? and i have a mountain of tutorials not touched. gotta chiong like crazy.

and there are 2 more events coming up! tomorrow's a rah-rah session to prepare us for friday. some sports council thingy wants us(JJ) to demostrate what a cheer fight is on fri. so who do they call down? JJ leaders. irritatingly, they call us JJ leaders but they dont give us the team JJ leaders tee. ya ya, we're not good enough... whatever la. leaders tee or not, we're still supposed to go down for the event. woohoo! JJ history-maker! hee! and another rah-rah event at victoria JC saturday morning. hmm. if it clashes with church then i won't go. hee! oh oh, after rah-rah tomorrow, might be meeting qilong and a couple of ycs people for dinner or something. haha. gonna be so weird, cos it's more of a LG8 thing. =p we'll see how it goes. who knows? i might decide not to go in the end. afterall, i do have a lot of tutorials to do.

woah. busy busy busy.
God, teach me time management would You?

pictures!

2008-03-30T23:07:00.004+08:00

my fav camper - QILONG!! a really sweet FRIEND too. hee!

a couple of LG8 campers. woohoo!

the sports sch guy who said he'll remember me cos of my sports-sch-cluelessness. LOL!

ah! the love birds in my LG. hee!

my LG's e-web. lalala~

yes, DEYAN, we know you have a sad life. LOL!

see how tired jialong is. that was during family meeting even before camp. haha!

that was during the campers' 1st night. we were busy making the banner thingy and discussing LG presents, dance, etc. for me and deyan, we were busy eating la. =P

family 2 gays. deyan, jialong and yewsiang. hee!

back track to 3 weeks ago. LINE camp LG7!! woohoo!! =D missed them la. hee!

LG7! we rock!! =D

LG7 outing to celebrate delwin's birthday. lalala!

a couple of family 2 peeps.

LG7!! facs + campers. hee! to DARREN: i still remember you and all of us miss you!! =D

another sat

2008-03-30T01:05:00.002+08:00

yupp. i choose to trust God has a word for me. He did! but my heart kinda hardened. still waiting for that encounter. haha. i was so in camp mood la. helped cleared cellgroup rubbish. when a newcomer went out talk on phone, i followed him. lol! ma chiam camp sia. then everyone sit down i still standing. then i realised i'm out of camp le. dont need make sure everyone sit down, everyone's safe, etc. lol!! so weird. =p managed to talk a little to derrick. woohoo! stupid act blur guy. haha! sms-ed qilong. that crazy camper. loL! still in camp mood also. keep saying how much he love us. cute. lol! at least 1 life was impacted. hopefully many more were.

dots. i'm still blogging about camp. this should be about a sat in church. haha.

oh oh! i served today. yupp. projection as usual. talked to vidas. wrote jeff and huat cards for coming china mission trip. hmm.. today's atmosphere a bit weird. hee! nevermind. cellgroup kinda pathetic too. but i'll still pray!

woots! i'm in TOUGH CLUB! =p and i really really wanna be a prayer warrior. pray pray pray!!

tmr gotta pay respect to grandma. sucks la. dont life seeing so many peopl bow down to devil. but God said when 1 person saved, the whole household saved ya! will be looking forward to that day!! =D

CD-AYL

2008-03-29T23:47:00.002+08:00

Cultural Diplomacy Asian Young Leaders (CDAYL) Convention!

24 march (mon)
after sch, shing and leon came my house bathe, slack, eat. haha! we missed family meeting. we were irresponsible la. =p then by the time we reach sch, we were late. haha cant really remember what we did that night already, but it wasn't a long night. =D 1st night in JJ. gosh! JJ's becoming my 2nd home. lol! kinda getting used to camping there. =P

25 march (tues)
woohoo. opening ceremony of CDAYL. meizhu and i were attached to yuanching sec. woah! that day changed my whole camp. got to know a couple of campers. the ycs people really made my day. got to interact with ycs' student i/c and the sport sch's student i/c. lol!

talk about sports sch 1st. i didnt know anything about sports sch la. i'm a sports sch nooblet. loL!! then i start asking the sports sch student i/c. he is nice enough to educate me. but he went around spreading to his sch mates that there's a fac who dont know anything about sports sch. so malu-ating!!

now ycs. got to know the student i/c qilong. like him a lot, as a fren, as a camper. LOL! really. he's a nice guy with lots of leadership post sia. student council chairman, dragon boat vice-captain. woohoo! lol! really love this bunch of campers. hee! but they weren't camping that night. the students went back sch, and we went back to out camp! lol!

had loads of family time that day. practiced family dance, play mrt, etc. oh.. had a dry run too, where we jst ran from place to place. hall, pe porch, hall. lol! had a games trail that night. woah. so cold la. and so fun. lol! we get to play like campers. woohoo! =P

26 march (wed)
yeah!! campers campers!! we recieved our campers in hall. was a boring day la. had a rah-rah session. then talks talks talks. i really tried being a good fac and stay awake. but i subconciously fell asleep... i really had no control over myself. lol!! then there was a bit of mess at LT5 during cultural talk. haha. and our family too, kena scolded for making hanisah cry. yup. cant be bothered. lol!!

had rah-rah with apple and wei jie, 2 seniors. and finally, JJ's own programmes! night games!! woohoo! i finally kinda know how to play night games. cos the last time i played as a camper, i had no idea what was going on. ogls ask me run then i run. lol! line camp i was a gamer, didnt get to play. this time, as a fac, i know what's going on! woohoo! LOl!!

song singing session(SSS). haha. tio scolding. any normal fac would have cried. i'm normal and i'm a fac. so i did cry la. i tried to control in front of campers, but difficult sia, when you already so tired, then tio scolding. =( haha. that night debrief also kena scolded. sian. lol! i guess that's normal for a fac ba. should have seen it coming. should have... but i didnt. lol!! oh oh! and i didnt bathe that day!! woots! we met for family meeting that night to decide lg present and family dance. haha. till qutie late. cant really remember the time. only remember having 2-3 hours sleep. loL!!

27 march (thurs)
morning pt. haha. everyone so tired. nevermind that. then mass dance early in the morn. time passed so slowly la. i mass dance until tired sia. haha!

telematch! haha! i and jialong teach them to cheat. "we cheat yesterday, we cheat the day before, and we gotta cheat today like we never did before!" LOL!! so funny. haha. then got all wet. some people thought i was a camper cos i was in my dark tee, not JJ tee. haha. nevermind. then we kena scolded again. this time by PC. dont wish to elaborate why. lol!

kinetic warfare!!! not as fun la.. uh, also dont wish to elaborate. partially cos got other sch stuffs using field, we cant spray water and do whatever we like. so sian. loL!!

then another wash-up time. lol! i decided not to bathe. just changed into cdaly tee. haha. then we got another rah-rah by the dearly missed delwin!! loL! really missed working him la. then we gotta leave early for family dance. haha. left kaihui alone take care lg and she's sick, so end up we combined with other lg ba. haha. the rehearsal was fun. hee! we were starving tho, cos we didnt eat dinner that night. and cos of that, i couldnt eat my med. -.- it was that time that i got so stressed, i look at my campers i wanna cry already. lol! but must control in front of campers sia, so i didnt break down la. haha. even daddy(szeting), leon, etc could tell i was stressed. i must have scared the campers like amanda did to me. loL!!

finally, LEADERS' NIGHT! haha! woots! our family dance so funny la. i and jeanle screwed up a little. haha. cos of that stupid umbrella. hee! but cant deny i had fun! =p mass danced with qilong, yupp! one of my fav campers. hee! the another song singing. stood beside him too. haha. kinda purposely la. cos closer to them ma. if can i would have stood with facs. but must take care campers. so take care of the campers i closer to la! =p

debreif was short that night. la. cannot tahan. bathed. haha! did lg present till we fell asleep outside hall. haha! and i drooled in my sleep! =p but woke up half-way. wanted to continue, but i dont even know what i writing la. i was sleep-writing. lol!! decided to just go to bed. it was already like 3plus. so that night only about 2 hour sleep. -.- haha. lucky next day, last day is emo day. loL!!

28 march (fri)
emo day. woots. everything was okay la. e-web, etc. the usual. then had a short song singing again, with some short interview thingy by mr chua with 2 campers and hanisah. sat beside qilong again. this time was coincidental. lol! fate la fate la. LOL!! finally broke down while hanisah was sharing (that does not mean i'm on "shing's" side. LOL~). oh, another thing i like about qilong is his grip. really frim and encouraging. haha. he cried too! =P

okay lunch. hectic again... cos of the muslim prayer stuffs. -.- crap la. haha. ran all about for them. but after lunch, we facs got to slack for more than an hour la. talked with deyan they all.. lol!! i'm still siding deyan! =P went to give out lg gift. haha. then last few mins of our break before we need assemble to gather the latern making campers, i went over talk to qilong. haha. took a pic with him la. also got talk to my own cmaper. hee! gave email, etc. haha. then ran over lt3 where campers supposed to gather. went crazy outside let3. loL!! the 6 gays(yewxiang, yewtong, jialong, deyan, leon and another guy) took pics. and leon... ahem! LOL!! in lt3, for some reason, faizal began singing. i was high la. then i start singing out of tune and i dont care! =p loL! took more pics with a couple of lg8 people. yupp, qilong, derrick they all. haha.

finally... dismissal. no more campers, no more stress. haha. kinda relaxing. =p hee! but at side gate there, i cried again. kinda badly. many thought i cant bear to see campers leave. nah! =p lol!! just feel... hmm.. how should i put it? unappreciated? lol! forget it. went back lt3. area cleaning, briefing. then went home! HOME SWEET HOME!

leon and shing stayed over. i slept early and embarrassed myself, again. -.- blah! tired tired!

really wanna thank my fellow facs, jialong, yaya, kaihua, hui yan and jeanle. haha! gotta thank shing and leon too. shing really took care of me la. leon help me in quite a lot too. mostly, keeping stuffs for me. LOL! oh oh and deyan, yewxiang, xintong, amanda, etc. you guys are really great la. love you guys so much!

and i'm guilty of not involving God in this camp. i've beem doing everything on my own la. no wonder i'm stressed. i'm even more guilty when i know derrick does his qt every night. gosh! i still choose to trust God has something for me. for those who have been worrying about me cos of my previous post, i'm sorry. haha. i'm okay already. waiting for that encounter with God. but while waiting, i'll not sit back and nothing. yupp! i know God had been and will be here with me! =D woots! i have my God-shaped hole filled. not fully filled, but i choose to trust that it will be and it can be fully filled. hee!

in a mess

2008-03-13T15:57:00.002+08:00

gosh! i'm beginning to feel like a non-christian. that's definately not good news. camp camp, homework, disciples, cellgroup accounts, etc... i've not been doing a good job.

too busy. busier than i should be. and this busy-ness is definately distracting me away from the things of God.

what's there for me to do besides praying? i really got homework to do. i really got test to study for.

i just dont seem to have the time, have to feel. i'm so messed up.

LINE camp 08

2008-03-12T20:40:00.002+08:00

finally back from camp. woah. i realised how fortunate i was as a camper. being a fac is no easy job. but i cant deny i did have fun.

it's my 1st time as a fac after all. =D

my LG7 was really hyper. they displayed really good leadership qualities.

and i think i did a bad job. thank God. i had so many other facs i could rely on... delwin, christopher, egoh, etc. they are the experienced ones there to support us everytime we became blur. really got to thank them. and my other LG7 facs, yongqiang, jialong, jocelyn, yaya, and dear family head, kennedy. there are stuffs i wanted to say to you guys, but didnt have to chance to. sorry. sorry for being such a noob, so blur and of little help. LG7 wouldnt have made it without you guys. sorry delwin, for the disappointment and to christopher, sorry for being such a bad games attache. i know i didnt do good for games. probably of no help too. my best achievement in games is the pool at the long jump pit. but it rained and it was not put to use. to practically, i didnt almost nothing as a games attache. sorry.

oh oh.. i wanna thank deyan and amanda and yew xiang for helping take LG7 during night games when none of us could be around. thanks. =)

if you ask me, i would think o2 was better. CDAYL, one more to go.

LINE camp... no matter how tired, we gotta smile, we gotta cheer, we gotta be higher than our campers. yupp, as usual, i cried. 1st was when delwin talked to us. i was filled with guilt la. then e-web. i began missing my campers. and mr chua reminded me of something i nver thought of...

i'm sure compared to o2, we had gained lesser, we had experienced lesser. but whatever, it's my 1st camp as a fac. i dont know how to put this in words. i dont know what i'm saying anymore.

dedications

2008-03-12T20:37:00.002+08:00

dedicated to NYJC O1 OG23. the 1st time i sang this song, the 1st thing i thought of is you guys. i miss you guys lots. =)

Strangers before
A world apart
We bearly noticed one another
Till angels of fate
In this heavenly place
Brought us together
Through joy and laughter

I hold you close
I hold you near
It may not be forever
And when i have to let you go
My heart it hurts me so

You turned around
You walked away
And tears flow down my cheeks
And moments turned into memories
To memories we'll relive

this is to JJC LINE camp LG7. i'll miss you guys. tho the bonds between me and you guys are not strong. this is my 1st camp as a fac after all. thanks for making everything happen. =)

Tonight we remember
The moments spent together
The joy and the laughter that we shared

Tonight we will cherish
The times that we spent here
Because it's the only time we have

Take our hands and see our smiles
This is where we all belong
I'll remember the times we spent together
Until my last december
Tonight

this is to all my friends, especially JJC O2 OG11 OGLs. i know you guys have fostered great bonds with family 3. i know how it feels. it's like me stepping into JJC from NYJC. we all gotta move on and accept reality.

As we walk into a brand new day
Let the sun shine in our face
No matter what they say
Come what may
We are here to stay

No matter how tough it may be
Remember you can hold on to me
Your hand i will never let go
Lets fulfil the dreams behold