moved

i've decided to move on... 

www.thegenerationparadox.wordpress.com

this blog is officially CLOSED.

a "don't" of blogging

come on, if you don't want anyone to know how you really feel, or anything of such, don't blog!

blogging it and setting it in small fonts makes no difference.

if you say you want to just pen yout thoughts down, but not want others to see, then go create a private blog, or type them in MS Words and safe them.

blogging it in your open blog (including in small fonts and ugly colours) only means others are allowed to see.

unless that's your main purpose, to capture attention, so people around will start asking what happened, and you'll be all emo and say, 'nothing'.

P.S. i'm not refering to any particular person/people.

Trust God

it is I who role the dice,

it is God who determines how it lands.

i trust God, my solid Rock.

shoes that don't fit you

it's important to do everything sincerly.

do unto others what you want others do unto you.

i know i did.

i guess...

everything turned out this way cos of the way we thought for ourselves.

one party thinks: i want to be accountable to them, and i dont expect them to react in any bad way.

the other thinks: so i've been used, my opinion dont matter. 

"i", "my"... why haven they thought...

1: will they be okay? will they take it well? will this be doing them any good?

2: are they feeling as bad as we do? (yes) why did they tell me, did they really need me?

it's about placing others before self. 

yea, it's hard to ignore one's own feelings.

like putting others before self when i'm feeling really bad. 

that's definitely not quite easy.

yea, that's where i say "sorry".

sorry for not sparing a thought for you guys.

sorry for not telling you earlier.

asking you out so far was only cos i really wanted to go out with you.

if you find it too much of a coincidence, i dont know what to say.

if you bother to read on... probably cos my promos just ended 2 monthss ago, and probably cos it's my hols.

these are reasons why you're willing to go out too, isn't it? (besides cos it's a close friend asking you out)

this is the part where i put myself in others' shoes...

probably cos of different characters, i only understood certain parts.

parts such as...

being worried.

being angry i'm only informed now.

being pissed i've been used (tho it's not true).

being disappointed.

i dont understand the part about losing a friend and being a lousy friend.

gosh, did you even hear us out? 

i think i'm only asking for trouble, inviting quarrels, hope you understand ya.

i guess, this is something for all of us to learn.

" Can we cross the barrier and be gracious with those who have hurt us?"

"Christians are a helpful bunch with no motives as well."

- credits: ziyi

what's in this for all for us?

Happy New Year!

great fulfilling year. let's recap 2008...

events:

1)NYJC

that pae period was cool. really honeymoon. i pon the lessons i dont like, didnt really do tutorials. but thank God the friends i made there are really guai and smart people. hahaha. i played touch rugby there too! =p

2)JJC

begining was still honeymoon. then the stress kicked in. well, there was a period where i dread sch so so much, i was afraid to step into sch. i'll never forget that feeling man. but my gracious God brought me through and now i know, i'm doing this for a far greater purpose.

3)Camps

camps are awesome. serious. tiring, a lil too much commitment, but fun. great friends, great campers, great experience.

4)Promos

woah. that crazy period. honestly, i didnt study hard. really. but i seriously thank God that my results are not that bad. no exemption, but no need to retake any papers. no top in class, but what more can i expect when i dont study hard.

5)YI Camp and X'mas Bash

i've been doing really little this year. didnt go for set-ups. but i did different roles, a lil more sounds now. quite cool being the sound operator for x'mas bash. i did the sound effects! kinda lag at times, but still, a learning experience. 

YI camp this year is just amazing. it's been a really long long time since i've hear God so clearly. i think i'm being transformed. i no longer feel that kind of really high passion. instead, it's those that you're convicted by the Holy Spirit. you just know it, you dont have to feel it. indescribable. 

people:

1)Ziyi, Zhiyu

hahaha. they are people i can always talk to. crap, jokes, rants, secrets, etc. i can tell them anything and everything under the sun!

2)Cellgroup

cellgroup had grown. not in size, but in the way we act, talk, maturity. i dont really know how to describe, but you can see the change, a positive change. and cellgroup is definately one group of people i look forward to seeing at the end of every week.

3)Media

was it this year we had our media retreat? yea. it's cool. media people are nice. kena a lil more from muen this year, but well, it's kinda my bad. nice bunch to hang out, have fun with.

4)Calista, Huiting, Evan, MichelleNg, MichelleLo

these 5 oikos girls are people i like to hang out with. we dont get to meet often, but they've been around for me. when times are bad, i know they are a group of friends i can turn to. how do put it? i dont really know. but this kind of friends are hard to come by, and i just thank God i'm blessed with them.

5)Luwei

how can i forget him when he thanked me on his blog. yea, it's amazing how God answered his prayer. luwei ever prayed that we can be good friends. and our prayer-answering God answered his prayer. definately a friend i enjoy sitting down and talk with. i remember that time we played guitar and talk. so cool. we were no guitar pros, but i enjoyed his company.

6)JingWei, Mindy, Esther, Liyuan, Jieying, Gabriel, Muxin

i dont really hang out much with that gang now, but i sure did enjoy when i do hang out with them. =)

7)Weehuat

cool teacher. not much teaching this year. but always liked talking to him

8)Gideon Ren

i like talking to him. he taught me so so much. thanks Gideon!

9)Gideon Choo

i've been talking a lot with him this year, unexpected huh. i didnt expect it myself. great dad, funny problems, and i like making fun of him with you-know-who. hahaha. thanks dad!

10)Wei Shun, Varma

they are people i've not been talking to, but people i can freely share to. thanks for being around to hear me out this year. =)

11)08s02

going through the year together is kinda cool. studying together, crapping together. a lil unhappy-ness sometimes, but well, a great bunch of people to hang out with. like in the chalet. i definately enjoyed myself.

12)Peishing, Winnie, Bernie, Yixuan, Zhaomian

great friends to tide me thru the year. what will i do without them. i'll probably die in JJ. hee!

13)Chengyong

cool friend. it's kinda weird how we got close. hahha. all thanks to me? well, we dont really talk, but when we do, we sure can talk quite a lot. did share with him. and especially when we're in different lecture groups and many of our breaks clashes, there are a lot of stuffs i can borrow from him when i forget to bring stuffs and such. hee!!

14)n_n

i'm sorry i dont appear in a lot of our outings. sundays! family days! sorry! but well, they are definitely a group of people i never wanna lose contact with. thanks for you guys' great company.

15)Chongxiang

also a friend i never wanna lose contact with. great friend. love to catch up with him. nice study partner too. haha. thanks dude. =)

16)Rebecca Kan, Joel Lew

hahah. thanks for.. yea.. you get it. hahaha. this period... but it's ending. i'll probably bug you guy less now. heehee!!

i've named quite a fair bit, but there's still more to go. 

most importantly, my all-amazing, all-powerful God who tide me through my difficult times, dance with  me through my happy times, and provide peace in confusing times. what would i do without Him. i can never, never ever, imagine life without Him. thank God for the people who crossed my path, thank God for my always-supportive family, thank God for cellgroup, media, etc. thank God thank God!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

a taste of my thoughts

the Bible is a book we experience.

changes is part of this course of life we experience. every moment... changing... our enviornment, the situations we're in, how we feel, how we think, what we do, what we choose to say.

main point: be sure of what you hold on to, and never regret. be accountable for your own actions.

some may say,"nono, main point is to please God." yea, we know. please God. definately. a must. and it all points back to the Bible. 

but there are stuffs we will come across that has no specific right or wrong. that's why even Christianity itself, there are divisions. some think that worshipping God with a huge band, loud music is not okay. some thinks it is. i'm sure those who think it's not okay will not be condemned. they still worship God in the way they think will please God the most. some may say, in the Bible, king David celebrated with loud music too. but well... different people have different defination of loud too. same way, some may think only after 21 can one get into a relationship. are you sure 21 is the right age? some may mature sooner, some later. they are accountable for what they do, and they please God the way they think will please God the most. doesn't mean getting in one early means not pleasing God. yea, there are many factors to it. studies, family, finance. well, doesn't mean getting in one at 21 means all these factors are no longer there too. 

i think it's okay to make mistakes. it's okay to make the wrong turns. some people just need to experience the hurts before they'll learn. be responsible for your own act and make sure you dont regret. that's important. of course, never fogetting, please God.

it's individual, that's my point of view. you can share with me your views, but if i dont agree to them, dont try to convince me and force your idea on me. thanks.

who are you looking to?

"when it came to making mistakes… i always looked at peter

when it came to fear and smallness.. i looked to gideon!

when it came to suffering.. i looked to king david

i always looked at their responses

when it came to running away from a task, i looked to jonah.

when it came to a world that made no sense, i looked at Jesus.

who are u looking to?  

 go for it. 

make mistakes, and learn. 

but dun make the same mistakes too many times. 

dun blame the circumstances for the mistakes.. 

take the circumstances by prayer and proper administration.. "

a friend taught me all these. cool.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINDY! <3

back!!!

yay! i'm back!! 

realised i didnt buy a lot of stuffs this trip.

nothing special, and nothing cheap. LOL!

it feels so good to be home. hee!

i just wanna keep my focus all on God!

only have a few weeks to do holiday homework then start mugging. 

wow. 

i actually thought about homework while in hk.

oh no! that's the bad consequences of hanging out too much with winnie.

lol! homework will just stay in your head! scary!

still, i wanna keep my focus all on God.

praying these year-end events wont be seasonal.

where the passion ignites for this moment, then fades away.

i want it to last, everything.

hong kong!

this is cool.
i'm in hongkong for now!
the hotel provides free wireless! =D
i'll only be back by thurs night, probably fri midnight.
so till then, i'll not reply texts and all huh. =)
but in the meantime, i might just update my blog, probably tumblr. hee!

see ya! =D

dear child of Mine

just put your trust in Me, you can never go wrong.
love, joy, peace... you name it!
but you gotta trust Me.
trust in all that I have in plan for you.
trust that I love you and I only have the best for you.
just trust with that beautifully innocent childlike faith of yours.

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME!

♥ God

prayer request

well, got a couple of prayer requests. =)

1. A' level chinese this coming thursday(30 oct)
2. project work oral presentation next monday(3 nov)
3. more discipline this holiday to prepare for tests next year and complete my assignments

yup, it's crazy.

very 1st bio lecture of the year will be a test on EVERYTHING we've learnt this year.

1st week of school will be an organic chemistry test.

hectic 2009 awaiting me! 

a friend taught me this:
Christian without Christ, is I am nothing.
(ChristIAN - Christ = I Am Nothing)

Job

my 2 favourite books in the bible: James and Job.

learnt a whole lot from them. of course, i've learnt a lot from the whole bible. probably i just read these 2 books at the right time, where it applies to my life the most.

it's amazing the way Job would continue to love God, despite all that has happened to him.
he realised that even when he dont see God, he dont feel God, God's still there.
there are times he had doubts.
but istead of allowing his doubts get hold of him, he present his doubts to God.
the conversation between Job and his friends, amazing.

well, i have yet to finish the book of Job. who knows what else God has in store for me.

Surely resentment destroys the fool, and jealousy kills the simple.

Job 5:2

He does great things too marvelous to understand. He perform countless miracles.

Job 5:9

Job, a man worth learning from.

God just has a way with the stuff He put in the bible.

after all, He did say every word in the bible is God breathed.

i know He must have purposes and learning values to EVERY verse in the bible.

hmm. i wonder.

God's vs mine

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD."As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Psalm 13:2

"This is the end of the matter. I, Daniel, was deeply troubled by my thoughts, and my face turned pale, but I kept the matter to myself."

Daniel 7:28

END OF PROMO! =D

FINALLY! promos ended!! *phew!*

had so many '1st times' this week. cool!

i FINALLY caught 'MAMMA MIA!' with my daddy, mummy and sis! in short, my family.
lol! mummy was like saying, "heng you didnt go watch this show with your friends, or i and dad will missed out on such a nice movie!" haha. just glad they liked it. i like it too!

but good things never last huh.

it's back to sch on mon. *yawns*
and it's back to test, tutorials, and WORSE, promo results.
i'm so in 'ANTICIPATION'.

church church. it was good. i like today.
maybe cos i could sit by and sabo people during icebreaking. and guitar snapped while i was playing during pnw! okay, i wasn't 'zai' enough. the service was good, the message and all. really, good! =D

I MISS REBECCA!

where is the love?

prayer request

emphasis from my previous post:

but when God is the focus, all these will just fall into place.

we wont have to try so hard, it'll come naturally.

cos God is the focus.

well well, promos.
pray for me dear friends.
thanks! =)

got this from luwei's blog:

A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.

proverbs 11:28(the message)

am i really expecting too much from myself?

being a christian

i just recieved an email, you might heard of it before, titled "bible vs. cellphone".
haha. such emails always say... "if you honour God and wanna stand up for Him, you'll forward this."
well, i deleted it.
not that i dont honour God, not that i dont stand up for Him.
but by not sending this doesnt prove anything.
i just dont like forwarding such chain emails to others.
yea, email may take little effort and it's free.
well, i just dont like it.
tho, it's good to take a look at some at times.



***


i was thinking, it'll be kinda good if i'm not a christian huh.
jc life's hectic, plus sat church and all.
if i'm not a christian, no commitment, i can do whatever i like.
i can join all the camps i want, be a jj leader, say whatever i feel like saying, do whatever i feel like doing, gossip all i want, spend all the time i want with my friends, probably hang out with the guy i like and such.
i wont have to be bothered by if whatever i'm doing pleases God, if the leaders are looking, if i'm being a good testimony, leaving good impressions.

but well, i AM a christian, and being bothered by stuff like leaders, disciples, impressions, is so wong.
it shouldn't be about all those.
it should be between me and God.
but such symptoms are so prominent today.

main point is... so what if i get to do what i like?
i wont be able to bring all these up to heaven, or down to hell with me.
when i die, all these will fade away.
but when i'm a christian, i stor something better, something for eternity.
you know, 70 years is peanuts compared to infinite years.
wanting to do only what pleases God, that's my purpose.
i no longer have to search for love from people, which is unreliable.
i no longer have to worry so much about trying to fit in, cos i know i'm fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image and i'm called to make a difference.

conclusion: i'm glad i'm a christian.



***



can someone define the meaning of being a christian?
today, the meaning of christians is to fear the leaders/disciplers;
to be nagged by them;
to be bothered by them;
to be bothered by leaving good impressions(like the saying 1st impression counts);
to be so bothered about being a good testimony; etc.
being a christian is simple, it's to be like Christ.
to be like Christ is difficult, but that's all that meatters, that's the focus.
of cos those mentioned above are important.
but when God is the focus, all these will just fall into place.
we wont have to try so hard, it'll come naturally.
cos God is the focus.

God is GOOD

Why do i even bother to have a relationship with God?
to go up to heaven?
to live a good and fulfilling life?

nah, i truely believe God is real and loves me.
well, since such a powerful force loves me so dearly, there's no reason for me to reject Him, is there?
God is not just another religious article.
He's like the ALMIGHTY.
ALMIGHTY i say.
get it, ALMIGHTY.
when you begin to realise how GREAT and POWERFUL and HIGH UP God is, it becomes GREAT PRIVEILEDGE to be loved by Him and to get to know Him.
better still, He created us to love Him.
and in return for loving Him, we get rewards, going to heaven, being provided for, etc.
wait a minute, let me get this straight, for doing the exact thing we were created to do, we get rewards?
that doesn't make sense.
it's like getting rewards for eating.
wow!
so just by believing and loving God with our hearts, minds and souls, we get rewards!
hmmm... God is just GOOD.

and the walls come tumblr-ing down!

http://iscream-.tumblr.com/

tumblr's so interesting!

luwei intro-ed it to me, who intro-ed it to shun, who intro-ed it to cal!

loL!

and my title's from shun too! =P (see, i creditted you!!)

i'll be blogging here and there... depends on my mood. LOL! =D