worth watching...

love this video:


lost generation...NOT!


scary...


dont wanna end up like that. )=

back on track

how fast... 1 more month to JUNE HOLIDAYS!! woohoo!

test, test and more test every week, almost everyday there's a test. and A's chinese? crazy! i'm so not prepared for it. at least i kinda have a break this week. hee!

camp, camp and more camp. shing might wanna be bannister house comm? then go for bannister house comm camp, bannister house camp compulsory for all J1s, and another upcoming west zone camp? feel like going sia. anyway that camp is on the last week of sch what. but no one wanna go with me. )= trying to psycho shing. wahaha!

guitar guitar~ woohoo. played guitar for cellgroup like every week? lalala~

ohh.. went back fuhua today. so boring can? all the teachers like went home or busy. rah! kinda missed the days.

lalala~ went friendster. still stunned at the fact dondon and qilong are in the same class. and junwen and yiying and amanda still so close. jealous, jealous. lol!

rah! dont like it when people get angry, they start talking rubbish. "mati mati(die in malay)..." what's their prob man. that shouldnt be the way la. but i think i'm kinda guilty of it too. at least i dont tell people to go die. sucky attitude.

not bad huh, as much as i dont like it, at least i'm not angry or anything. woohoo! i've got the peace back! maybe just a little, but i got it back! and the joy too! happy happy!

things are getting back on track... just hopefully when things go wrong, i wont be 'led astray' again...

random stuffs

woohoo! happy happy. i saw a camper outside school and he still recognises me. lol! and said hi to me. yupp, that's none other than GEORGE from YCS! lol! and i throw face in front of him la. i couldnt remember him tho i find him quite familiar. hee! he told me he was george, then i was thinking of fiona. loL! then i walked off without saying bye. hee! but happy sia, a camper still remember me and said hi to me. woohoo!

test test, stress. loL! math ar... difficult sia. mug mug mug. then tmr maybe meeting cal they all. and i forgot i got chem test on thurs. high chance pon-ing cca to study before i meet the girls. hee! lalala~

ohoh.. and today, shing and winnie said FERNANDO's shuai! gosh!! lol! actually, not bad la. that time we were choosing OG23 eye-candy, we were choosing between fernando and junwen. lol! junwen got the most votes in the end. hee! and and NY soccer came JJ again. haha. this time the slacked around in our canteen. and i caught sight of an ATHENA OGL. haha! then start remembering people like eric, hengsiong, meixuan, emelyn, etc. haha. cool. hope they come back JJ again, then i'll go up to him and say hi. loL! used to throwing face as a JJ-ian, as a student from 08S02 and as a J1 leader. loL! and jasper(JJ J1) always remind me of tedson(NY J2). =p loL!





i wanna be everything You want me to be
i wanna live my life for You

You placed in me everything i need to go on
i wanna show my whole world You

You're the only one for me

anti-emo!

someone said my posts were all so emo. lol! NYJC frens would know... how can i be emo? my OG-tee wrote 'ANTI-EMO' remember? hee!!

anyway, grace(aka oba) said i look pretty today! happy happy. hee!!

lalala~ i wanna donate blood! hee! but i scared i under weight sia. and i scared it's gonna be painful. and i scared i'll faint. walter fainted today la. scary. but i really want to. dont care, just go for it. oh no! if i donate blood tmr means i cannot go PC? nono.. i wanna go PC! =( for once(in JJ) i'm so looking forward to PC. sobs.

ohoh. and i predict tmr's gonna be an emo day. loL!! i just said i'm anti-emo. wait, hear me out first. tmr's 1st period is bio lecture. and we having lecture test. how to not emo? bad start for the day sia. so so much to memorise and i'm only half-way through. kinda dead. hee!

i'll pray for no spammer today. =p

i need...

i need wisdom
i need patience
i need energy
i need strength
i need time management
i need anger management
i need rest
i need God
i need you

qing ming

went to pay respect to my grandmother today. probably cos God have once again captured my heart, i feel so filthy at that place. my dad held the incense, then touched me. i dare not say anything, but i just feel so dirty.

then an uncle said, in the world there is only one God(glad he knows that). but to him, God just showed himself to different people in different forms. like to chinese, god is buddha, to malays, god is their malay god. so crappy.

next time, when i die, i will donate all my healthy organs. dont bother coming 'visit' every year or something. cremate me then put me back into soil where i can contribute back to the ecosystem.

having such 'praying' practices only contributes to air pollution, take up land space, waste money, waste time, waste food, waste patrol. hate it.

love men, hate their sins.

truth unplugged

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

31To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:31-32

i always knew i have been a lukewarm christian. there's nothing to be ashamed about that. i know i'm going through a relatively dry season and i know something has to be done. but many time, i have chose not to do anything. for the past 2 weeks, going to church have been a routine for me. i went to church with a hardened heart. i chose not to open my heart to God. i chose to live my life the way i want to.

but yesterday, i made the decision to go to church with an open heart. to go to church expecting a word from God. to go to church knowing God's there and He'll bring me back.

halfway through sermon yesterday, i felt the great plans God have for me and my future, the plans that i've missed due to my stubborn-ness, my sinful nature.

with every lie, counter it with a truth.

one thing pastor said that really hit me hard. identify lies, then make changes. however, in the beginning, when changes are made, it feels uncomfortable. but we gotta practice and practice and it becomes natural and finally, it becomes part of me. this is definately something i gotta learn to do.

knowledge had given me false spirituality.

16 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
17 O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.
Psalms 59:16-17

5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Colossians 3:9-10

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-38

Jesus exposed lies with truth!

it's about our priorities.

missing them

gosh! just went to NY's sch web. how i miss NY. the great friends made there, the times where we would go gym, squash court during breaks to play. canteen where we slacked and ate together. atrium where we mass danced and we were the only OG there. classrooms, LTs, where we had lessons, ate sweets, and zuyao dao me. there were really bitter sweet times. mount faber expediture. vivo with elysia and yiying. morning train rides with junwen and elijah. touch rugby trainings with lichun. going home after rugby with fernando and junwen. train rides home with licheun and regina phua. sharing stuffs with lichuen. Da NanYang race. games day where the girls 'boo-ed' the guys. OG outing watching P.S. I love you.

the many stuffs went throughed together were countless.

now, we have our own lives, our own frens. will we still be as close as before?

missing NY. missing OG23. missing PAE days.

gosh!

dude, can you take more initiative?

ramdom today.

woah. after 2 months in JJ, this is the 1st time i go for lessons on a friday. unfamiliar with the timetable and which classrooms to go for which lesson. lol! end up lost with shing. hee! late for math tutorial. =p

rah-rah! haha! very little people came today. mostly J1 leaders. we cheered, danced, as usual. haha. was supposed to go for a briefing, but suddenly nose bleed sia. went to toilet. by the time i was done, briefing started. didnt dare go into the room, so end up waited outside. hee! the briefing was supposed to be only 10 mins la. but it dragged for 30-45mins. loL! i waited for that long. -.- then i have no partner cos i didnt go briefing. haha. thank God deyan agreed to go, or i'll be a lonely lost sheep tmr. hee!

went je, supposedly popular with shing and leon. kinda weird, but dont want shing to feel bad, so asked fiona, peiting and sophia along. hee! end up went to kbox look for the ycs people. haha. chinleh's birthday. cant tell he's a really sweet guy too! haha! we for dinner with shing and leon then went pop, waited for qilong. made a bet with peiting. i betted that qilong wont send me back. haha! i lost. -.- pizza. rah! ex sia. no money already la. =p hee!

HAPPY BE-LATED BIRTHDAY CHINLEH!!

home sweet home. tired. tmr another rah-rah at vjc. woah. 7.30am in sch. lalala~ going crazy(not in a positive way)! lol!

rebuked

God scolded me with this verse...

22 So Samuel said: “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. 23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king.”

1 Samuel 15:22-23

a verse speaks a thousand words. what God really wants is not just words and sacrifices of time and energy. He wants obedience, obedience at all cost.

far away

Far Away by Nickelback

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

And you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it all

I'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

'Cause I needed

I need to hear you say

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing

Hold on to me and, never let me go

<3

MY HEART FOR GOD AND GOD ALONE.

we're just friends. probably not even good ones. imu.

slacker

slacker. yup, that was refering to me. hee!

i'm supposed to be online doing PW research. gosh! i just can't help it la. you know how boring it is to just work all day? and i have a mountain of tutorials not touched. gotta chiong like crazy.

and there are 2 more events coming up! tomorrow's a rah-rah session to prepare us for friday. some sports council thingy wants us(JJ) to demostrate what a cheer fight is on fri. so who do they call down? JJ leaders. irritatingly, they call us JJ leaders but they dont give us the team JJ leaders tee. ya ya, we're not good enough... whatever la. leaders tee or not, we're still supposed to go down for the event. woohoo! JJ history-maker! hee! and another rah-rah event at victoria JC saturday morning. hmm. if it clashes with church then i won't go. hee! oh oh, after rah-rah tomorrow, might be meeting qilong and a couple of ycs people for dinner or something. haha. gonna be so weird, cos it's more of a LG8 thing. =p we'll see how it goes. who knows? i might decide not to go in the end. afterall, i do have a lot of tutorials to do.

woah. busy busy busy.
God, teach me time management would You?