it doesnt matter, does it?

woah. it's been a long week. i seriously thank God it's thurs. stayed back everyday to do some crappy revision till 4.30pm. it's only on fri we get to go home at 12.30!

hmmm. finally complete all my holiday homework. have not much to worry about now, except the fact that i can't find my notes on blood and there's no way i can write a good essay without them.

craps! since no classmates know about this blog, i feel safer to talk about some stuffs that pissed me off today. heck, i dont even bother if classmates do see this post. it no longer matters.

class is like crappier that usual. probably i'm just too busy with church. probably i just rather spend time with cal and the rest. who cares.

i went to school this morn, as usual. saw corina, doreen and shing with a cake. naturally i asked who was it for. corina said it was for pamela and they included me a share. okie, i gotta admit, i was kinda touch. i thought i'll be all forgotten and such. but hey, they still remember i exist. cool. the day went by and finally, recess. the whole gang of girls swarm out of class. how was i to know what was going on? besides, i was too busy doing my geog homework. i gotta hand it in by recess and i only have 30 mins left. it was definately not enough to complete my work, but i rushed through and made it on time.

anyway, back to the girls. i was doing work when joc and doreen ran into class, nervous and sorts, asking for plaster. i thought something serious happened. they said shing fell and it was kinda serious. i really wanted to help, but i was busy doing geog! some time later, the whole gang of girls walk in laughing. natural instinct, i asked how's shing. the news was then broke to me that they pranked pam to celebrate for her. i was like.. okay.. i thought i had a share in this, but i was not informed? hmmm.

i had to get back to study mood, so i had no time to think about what happened. until after school. i was kinda demoralised knowing that i'll most probably fail my phy test. hey, i was not informed there was a test, was i? i dont know. okie, then i saw a few eating cake and stuffs. i was like, that isn't pam's cake, is it? i convinced myself that no way that's her cake, cos i had a share in it! it's impossible they'll leave me out when they have included me. -.- that's exactly what they did. i didnt know that until like later, when i happened to walk past corina. she ask if i still have a share in pam's bday. "how was i to know?", duh, that was my respond. i dont even know i had a share in it until this very morning! "you didnt even come for the celebration just now. so do you still want to have a part in it?" i was like 'huh?' "i didnt even know you guys celebrated. i was not informed." then she went all 'oohhhh...' and went back to class.

duh, definately i was totally sianed. i decided to pray, asking God to take this sian-ness away so i'll not be affected. then, corina had to shout my name from the class and say,"so you not in le ar?" what can i say? i'm totally put off by that. i just nod my head to show her i agree. just when i was about to turn away, she had to shout my name again, and asked if i'm still sharing the present. i was like whatever and yupp, that was what i shouted back. i was totally... sian. ht, baby and hs saw i was unhappy, but they didnt know why. so i gave the lamest excuse. i'm tired.

i need to cool off. i prayed and figured out an ice-cream may do the trick. bought an ice-cream and the chocolate in it totally put me off. i wanted to puke. i love chocolates. but that chocolate was plain yuck!

home at last. and dian had to make noise. sis had to disobey me, when i'm right. bio notes had to go missing. can this day be any worse?

Holy Spirit... i need help. hmm. guess the Holy Spirit do comfort our hearts, huh. since that's the case, the rest of my day is Yours, Lord.

now or forever?

happy! cos people are choosing to believe in Jesus!

sad! cos people are choosing to turn away from Jesus!

funny world we live in.

here, people are facing parental objections, persecutions because they wanna be christians. yet, they hang on, knowing that they will one day see God face to face and be rewarded for eternity. and heaven rejoice because of these souls added to the kingdom of God.

there, people who knew the Good News, yet choose to turn away. they prefered the pleasures of this world rather than heavenly rewards. and God weeps because His sheeps have gone the wrong way.

a word of advice - worldly stuffs will never last, but heavenly rewards last for eternity.

lets say the max we can live till 100 years old. what's 100 years compared to eternity? eternity is like thousands and millions and billions and trillions of years!

will you rather enjoy now, and suffer for eternity?

or suffer now and enjoy for eternity?

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i dont know why i'm blogging about this. lol. just feel the need? hmmm.

He answered

lalala! it's been kinda fun today. heehee! out all day. it felt like a sunday. lol.

mum woke me up this morning and she saw the bookmark melody gave me! i was afraid la. cos melody wrote stuffs like "you've been a great teacher" and "from your student, melody", and my parents didnt like me to be committed. so i figured that if they knew i'm a discipler, i'll be dead.

surprisingly, my mum laughed and said(in chinese),"wa, so pro ar? be teacher. teach about what? bible things ar?" i was STUNNED! lol. seriously. and something made me stun even more. she said,"teach your dad la! teach him more, bring him to church. but he very stubborn one. you must talk more about church to him, especially when he's in a good mood."

WOAH! powerful! haha. i told her sanjie and wendy jiejie wanna come my church and she was like "okay okay, bring them to your church lo."

simply amazing, how God worked in her heart. it's like after radical conference, i got more serious in praying for my family. but the main thing that allowed all to happen is my PRAYER ANSWERING GOD. He's like the coolest! =p

weird-ness

rah! everything has been so weird. or maybe it's me that's weird. lol.

it just feels different. it started from last fri. what did i do?

fri i went out with weiqiang and phyllis and huat to do some shoot at nus museum. kinda fun. it was my first time la. =p oh, i did one production once, in p6! heehee! that was a noob one. we used like just a video cam and go around shooting interviews, then edit it with windows movie maker. lol. kinda no standard la. then again, what do you expect from a group of 12-year-olds? =)

sat was normal. went for media a while to check out the lights. but.. hmm.. i just feel weird. especially in cell. it's not exactly a bad feeling. not a good one either. it's just a... a... different feeling that no words can express.

sun too. had family gathering. celebrated fathers' day. and there it is again, the unexplainable feeling!

this morning too! i woke up late. but i feel, uhh... weird. so i went back to sleep. -.- lol!woke up like at 12.30? okay, i know it's late. heehee! mum too mc today. hmm. usually, i'll hate it when she's at home. she'll nag at everything. but today... it's just different. weird. i dont know. i kinda like her at home? not exactly. i dont know. it's that unexplainable feeling again.

what's wrong with me? =/

inspired by God

many people thinks that being a christian means a life without sufferings, smooth sailing, and all will go jsut so well.

well, that's only like half of the story. maybe not even half. christian kena prosecuted. they'll go through more sufferings than others. but it's through sufferings that we're strengthened and more deeply rooted in God. all we gotta do is persevere and hang on to Daddy who loves us more than we can imagine.

God, i dont know if You used me to touch my sis, or used my sis to touch me. but You really convicted my heart O Lord.God, i really see the urgency. God, i really wanna be the salt of the world.help me God, help me Holy Spirit.God, i'm not gonna do this alone. in fact, i'm gonna surrender all us into Your hands.God, cause a change in them. O Lord, change their hearts. God, it breaks my heart to see them drift away even when they knew the consequences. God, convict theire hearts like You did to mine. Holy Spirit, help me live a life that will please You. I need You, i'm desperate for You. i know these tears are genuinly for Your people. God, i'm at a lost. i guess i relied too much on myself. i know realise that only You can make things happen. God, i give up. i surrender everything to You. i seriously cant do this alone. Holy Spirit, take control.

what happened?!

how could this happen to me?!

rah!! had fun with my cell just now.. but things just dont seem right. it's like i dont feel right... how could this happen to me??? i hate it la. things seem so different. i dont know why. is it cos i just joined media and i like can't strike a balance. i know at any time, cell comes before media, but... but... i just dont know la! i just know that i feel different. i know the cell loves me, i love them too. but.. it's just.. different!

it's pure crap la! thank God little people know about this blog. haha. or people will start to flood me with calls asking what happened.bleh.. who cares? =p

Holy Spirit, i need your help badly!!

lalala~ winnie and wendy jie jie now at my house. with their dog, chocolate. cute, friendly, gentle dog. lol! i love doggies. so cute la, so adorable, so lovable, and cuddly too!! =D

exciting sat?

so fast, another week has past. lol! hmm. sat was kinda, uhh, how should i put it... exciting? lol!! i was praise and worship leader, and as usual, mun chung's my guitarist. he was so super late!! only got to practice for 30 mins, and kenni sat in too.. lol! nervous.. haha.. yupp, i had media duty too. first time doing lights, and i'm doing it with muen. i definately screwed. next sat is gonna be my turn again. i definately feel more confident being projectionist, at least i've done it like twice.

lol. i was trying to understand the light board thingy. then sister wanping came and asked me to do sermon ppt? lol! and huat was not there!! and muen wanted me for lights. haha. i still helped rachel la. chionged the whole thing while sister wanping is preaching. so i kinda like didnt pay attention? =p

oh ya!! i seriously gotta thank God so so much!! was kinda stressful during praise and worship, especially when ziyi told me it gotta be powerful, it gotta be an example for the younger ones. lol! thank God for munchung also la.. he saved me a couple of times. heehee!!

and joel lew was like so "nice" la.. talk about loving your neighbour as yourself... haha! but i kinda took advantage too la. heehee!

muen going army this wed, or is it thurs. lol! not really sure. but it's really soon la.. i'll be so lost doing lights myself without him. i need a pro's help!! =p

and junze and xiao coke just didnt have enough fun the last time. honestly, i didnt have enough fun myself too la.. heehee! they wanna meet again? and kena kicked by my sis again? lol!! =p we'll see ba. heehee!

pissed.

blah!! just realised so many, i meant SO MANY people know about it la!! so pissed can! rah!! why so many people know?? i'm not expecting that la...

bleh.. forget it.. it doesnt matter now... at least even those people know, they dont gossip about it. i guess... uhh... that's the good thing?

blah. whatever. cant be bothered. things are no longer what they used to be. so... who cares?

random

been out slacking these two days.. no money le!! =p lol..

met jaclyn, jocelyn, serene and joel yesterday to plan outing. then went to luwei's house. and muen came too. lol.

just now went to evan's house to do bio. slacked a lot too la. then went to sherlyn's house for some christian fellowship gathering thingy. fun la. haha. games, movie(night at the museum). learnt drums, played guitar, kinda like form a band like that. cool la. =)

headache killing me now! really REALLY tired... tmr still have maths. and need to prepare praise and worship this week. lalala~

Holy Spirit, help me, give me strenght! =D

neoprints!

KING COKE!!!





and the finale......

my new darling!! -.- lol!! more like my didi.. haha!!

birthday boys!

sinced it's already past 12...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JUNZE!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZANE!!

went out with junze, xiao coke and my sis. fun!
will upload the pics the next time.. lalala~~

thank you God

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 40:31
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

saw these verses in SAJC.
thank you God. =D

radical conference!

the walk home was scary. i was really, really, REALLY afraid! no exaggeration! had the urge to call/sms you, but when i said 'last', i meant it. so it makes absolutely no sense if i contacted you. but since besides dad, you were the next one who knew it, i guess it's kinda natuaral that i'll wanna call you when i'm going home or going out alone. who cares anyway~ since you dont bother, i find no reason why i should.

last fri and sat, RADICAL CONFERENCE!! it was great la!! last year, i went for the conference as i member. this year, i went for it as a media personnel. lol!!

friday!
went to church at 9.15! lol. i was the first one there la, since junze went for a drink. haha. then came sandy and zhaolun. lol. they make a cute couple. =p hmm.. helped a little with the cabling? yea. i helped by tearing the tapes for them. lol! ohohoh! i did help timothy keep some cables too! =p haha.. most of the time was slacking around, talking with sandy, zhaolun, junze, zhenke, yanni and rachel. the only people at work were muen and timothy. =X the few of us went out for lunch. haha. and we were late. supposed to be back in church before the youth alive came. but we end up reaching the same time as them. haha.

supposed to go cell outing. but it was raining nia, and service was brought forward to 6pm, and youth alive just arrived and i wanna see them practice! so end up didnt go lo. waited waited waited, prayed a little as a group, then the people came! lol. and i joined my cell. yupp. went high with them. haha.. sad thing is i cant join in alter call cos i doing cd sales. haha. not much sales the first night. guess most were just too distracted by the tee sales. =)

saturday!
reach church early for plenary services and workshops. haha. cool la. went for media workshop and the workshop for girls. hmmm.. both also really useful. especially when sam talked about the reason we are in media. that got me wondering what is the real reason i'm in this ministry. i havent figure that out yet. but i'll be praying that it'll ultimately be for God. =D night service was.. hmm.. kinda different? haha. i joined junze, zhaolun and phyllis at eh side with the youth alive band. kinda like misusing my pass? lol! hmmm. okie la. missed the powerful alter call AGAIN!! haha.. this time, more sales. my guess was cos the tee sales was no longer beside us? haha.. kinda busy.. the few of us didnt sit throughout. haha. tired.

END OF RADICAL CONFERENCE! looking forward to next year's already.... loL!!!! there is so much more that happened. just really lazy to type. heehee!

oh ya!! one super lame joke weiqiang told us. it was junze who tell him la. the radical conference posters, tees and everything got 3 colours(red,blue,yellow) right? which colour is the odd one out??

ans!! blue!! cos traffic lights got red, yellow, but no blue!! it should be green!

HOW LAME!! lol... but kinda funny la.. heehee!!