learns

i'm wanna learn keyboard! learning learning!
CAL DEARIE can teach me!

i wanna learn drums!
wanna ask JASON! cos HUAT forever saying he's not good too when he's definately better than me. LOL!

learnt differentiation today, sort of refreshed what i've already learnt. MAMA! can teach you now!! i remember my stuffs already! =P

YIXUAN keep telling me to stay happy. it’s not that simple. it’s a spiritual thing. it’s something i gotta learn. something i gotta go thru in order to grow. thanks anyway. =)

feverish.

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BURST MY BUBBLE.

NAH, THX AND NITES.

life again

finally, away from sch work. i have a life again!

---

SEAN'S BACK!! BUT HE'LL BE GONE AGAIN TMR!! GOT SO MUCH TO TELL HIM! =P


SHIFU. sorry. maybe i'm just not the one you should be counting on. this is not the 1st time i kena something like that for you. i'll screw up again when you're gone. connection with ps? i dont know. he was not happy with what i've done. dont want to disappoint you. i'm trying. but i dont think i can. dont pin high hopes on me. probably i'm just not up for it.


DADDY GID says i've changed. have i? lol! i guess i've just grown up...

---

went watch GET SMART with cal dearie, ht mummy, vidas mama and chengyong. lol!
i like chengyong! NO NO! not like like, just like. you know. friends(like the way i like sean, serene, regina...). he's a nice guy, and can be really sweet and caring. cal and ht will agree with me.


met cal and vidas this morning(or rather, afternoon). buddys. met regina. dearie and mama accompanied me back to church. cal and i shitted together. then i went to serve. huat talked. muen talked. was late for cg.
went dinner at the jade with cg.
talked with daddy gid on the way. felt different. felt as if i'm talking to cal. lol! God was there. awesome...
met brendon on the bus. talked, laughed. went the jade eat. talked some more with ziyi and serene. fun! lol! home.

collected my graduation cert and testimonial today. =D they wrote i'm a good girl! talked a little with principal. lol!

---

oh no! i'm gonna fall sick too. i know it. beginning to have sorethroat and all. =( result of not enough rest. STUDIED too much. lol!

---

GOD says, "I knew this was going to happen. I already do. remember? I planned them all. I knew you would go through all these. dont worry, I have won the victory. I won it for you. take it, use it well. trust Me."

not again...

(woo! so many post today. i'm having test tmr!! but my volcanic notes just wont load. -.-)

NOT AGAIN... I THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER!

I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE! NOW AND FOREVER!

misses

stop. rest. think.

the times i felt You so near

with You i didnt have to fear

You were all that i need

You were all that i want

You are the answer to my missing piece

there's a God-shaped hole in all of us

and the restless soul is searching

there's a God-shaped hole in all of us

and there's a void

only You can fill

For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.

Psalm 109:22

So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

Psalm 143:4

O my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.

Jeremiah 8:18

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in Me."

John 14:1

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

friends.

... there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24b

my dearie sent me this today. *touched*

it's just amazing how God placed friends around us. close ones, not so close ones, hi-bye ones...
thank God i have very dear friends. friends who stood by me throughout my christian walk. friends who willingly walk this walk with me. friends who listen tho they dont feel like it. friends who give godly advices. friends who see my laugh and watch me cry.
friends that stick closer than a brother.

it's just indescribable. the strong bonds forged. the way we could be so transparent towards one another. it's not just a seasonal thing.

we have almost nothing in common! but God brought us together. i can't think of anyone else but God who could do such thing. such friendships itselves are miracles already.

cal dearie. huiting mummy. daddy SL. i love them all.
the many good friends around. evan, regina, vidas, huat, rebecca, serene, luwei, ziyi, zhiyu, michng, gideon, kenni, jaclyn, shing, winnie, yixuan, bernie, don, qilong, etc. there are so many more to name... from church, from sch, from outside... (not enough time ar, gotta study soon. =P)

God blessed me so so much.
how could i forget, the Greatest Friend of all... Jesus - there for me 24/7.

thank You God.

prayer requests

took my bio paper today. just pray i can get the grade i want.

fri's geog CT.
fri's chem topical test(engergetics).

tonnes of chinese not done. dont really wanna be bothered by them. but feel bad not doing my work.

A's chinese oral and listening coming up, early july.

i need prayers... thanks! =D

bye holidays!

man! this is one holiday i dont wanna forget. had so much fun!


studied with luwei, jingwei, jaclyn, serene, yijun, my sis... at luwei's place, muen's place, yijun's place, my place.

went to the christian warehouse thing with kenneth and luwei and met davin there.

east coast fun with huat, jingwei, jieying, liyuan, junze, gabriel, jocelyn, muxin, my sis.

cellgroup outing to east coast.

junze and esther's birthday celebration... at esther's house, at lot1, then at regina's house.

sean's farewell-to-freedom dinner at marche.

talks on the phone...

media outing at warren.

meeting up with cal, huiting and diona just to catch up.
(end up going xavier's place, talked with ana and andyong a little.)

radical conference 2008.

amazing race 2008.

gideon and weiqi's POP.

kenni, kenneth and sylvester's ORD.

s02 outing at sentosa.

4e3 girls at settlers.

project work with winnie, bernie, elysia and walter.

gp with winnie and shing.

how baby joeann brought the whole family together.



a very fruitful holiday. the stuffs God taught me... the people God placed in my life... the events God had in His plan... PLAIN WONDERFUL~

sch starts tmr! just pray pray pray! pray that things will change... pray that i'll not forget all that i've learnt... pray that in the world the same, i'll dare to be the difference...

not only me! KENNETH YEO starting work tmr! WEIQI and GIDEON going back camp tmr! KENNI his uni! LUWEI also starting sch tmr! not forgeting... all the SEC SCH and JC people!

put down the past! the fun, the sorrows, the tears, the laughters. yea, all worth remembering. but not worth having them affect the future, our future, my future!

lets just pray everything will go right~
work for God and bring Him the glory He deserves!

God, it's up to You now

what can i say...
YIJUN FED ME WELL TODAY! 2 DUMPLINGS, 8 NUGGETS(tho it was luwei, but IT WAS AT YIJUN'S HOUSE), MANGO SAGO, PORRDIGE!

LOL! studied studied. and i'm so dead. i cant even finish one chapter. nope, not cos i'm with yijun and luwei, there's just too much to study!! i did study earlier! 2 weeks earlier. but i still can't make it...
God, it's up to You now.




woo! God taught me a lot thru Josiah(nope, not luwei. it's Josiah in the bible).

Josiah was one of the many kings in Judah.

his dad and granddad were very wicked people. they did everything that was evil and displeased God. cos of that, God wanted to destroy the land, as a punishment for being disobedient. for 2 generations, the people of Judah had been living their lives as pagans, practicing idolatory. that's the kind of environment Josiah grew up in.

but no, that did not stop Josiah from being who God wants him to be. at the age of 8 he ruled as king. he rebuilt the God's temples, torn down all pagan practices, pagan worship. imagine the pressure he had to go through.

yes, he was king, but how about his people. 'what would his people think? would they rebel against him?' those are the possible thoughts that went through his mind. how about his advisors and people around him? definately they'll be discouraging him from all this reforming. Josiah stood by his faith.

he stood for what he believed in and ignored whatever that stood in his way. he choose the narrow way, the difficult way. and he made it. he made it through the pressure as king, the pressure from his people, the pressure from the people he work with.

there was once, a priest found the Book of Covenant in the temple and brought it to Josiah. Josiah made his people and himself obey all that was in the Book of Covenant. for generations, the Passover was not celebrated, but Josiah celebrated one of the biggest, most grand Passover in history.

because of that, God pushed back the 'destruction date' of the land to after Josiah pass away, so he won't have to witness the fall of his kingdom.

that's focusing on not self, but God. that's revolution. that's radical.
that's what i should be learning.

prayer request

COMMON TEST STARTING TMR! i'm so gonna flunk!
pray for me! i'm gonna need all the wisdom i can get! i want my 'A's! =P
THANKS! =D

tmr's math! i'm so dead...

YI amazing race 2008

team leader: DADDY GIDEON! route 4! i heard it was one of the most difficult route! so it's good we managed to finish 5 out of 6 stations huh!

bus ride to little india! woo! that was a stun.

nong nong!

we thought it was sugar cane. lol! thanks KEITH and STANLEY! end up it was umbrella in canto. lol!

done by eunice... thanks ar. and she did that cos of what gid said. double thanks ar. lol! hey! it was a long time sinced i kayak kay! =P

walking walking. we were tired already! =P

"AHLAKABOMBOM! MALAKONGXI!" -our identity! LOL!

'a courtesy from Print Matters' =D

woah! eunice is good. she elaborated everything in her blog! everything we did during the whole race!

http://www.euny-x.blogspot.com/

i may walk but i'll not stop.

His goodness

Your plans to prosper me, not destroy me

Your power that gives me strength, when I'm weary

Your divine rest that falls upon me

Your comfort to my soul sets me free

east coast!

that's what all of us noobsters did.

jieying and me. we were the 1st to reach the pier!

us 4 at the pier.

nice scene. look closely, it's actually huat and junze.

zoomed in huat and junze. that's the best my hp camera can go.

resting at kopitiam

jocelyn and me at kopitiam

what can i say? it's evident. US ARMY.

waiting waiting for last pair of skates to return.

INJURED:

JOCELYN

WEEHUAT

GABRIEL. gosh! he fell so many many times!

bus ride back.

the need to be alone.

i enjoyed myself today. i really did!

woke up freaking early. was gonna be late again. well, we weren't the latest. huat and jocelyn were later.

travelled to east coast. ate breakfast, slacked, then went rent skates.

gosh! my 1st time skating in east coast. the last time i skated was at least 4 years ago at a basketball court, and i didnt really skate, i more of walked.

got the hang of it at the beginner's corner. then skated to the pier. more of being pulled. jieying cycled and pulled me most of the way. fell down, but nobody saw. thank God jieying was not far ahead. only jieying, junze, huat and me went all the way to the pier. the rest stopped at the kopitiam. went back. rested there.

headed back. boy was i tired. thank God junze had a bike. i skate part of the journey. but i was too slow, and i can't make it on my own. end up junze pulled me along.

fell again along the way. this time the impact was so great my head hurts, even until now. didnt wanna get up. really pain and tired.
it was not easy trying to get up again.

well, we overshot the time, had to pay extra charges. went bk for lunch. the interaction among all of us was fun.

went down to south havens. xavier's house. didnt wanna change and stuffs. but cal talked me into changing and washing up. it did felt better, more refreshed. slacked a while at xavier's then went to buddy with cal and andy ong. had a really good talk. didnt know i had something to cry about.
guess that's what happens when we dont stop and think.




sometimes, time off alone is good. busy-ness just tend to get in the way. forever we're occupied with something, be it computer or tv or studies or even friends. sometimes, we just need to be alone. to spend some time thinking. spend some time in just God's presence. did that, it felt good.

gosh! perseverance. such a easy yet difficult word. it just means not to give up. but to put it in actions, it's just not as easy as it seems. God have been showing me a lot about perseverance.

this road with God, it's never gonna be easy. as much as words can be said. actions are always a lot more difficult, a lot more difficult than we can imagine. just like skating, we'll definately fall. it's a choice to pick ourselves up again and move on.



It's the way we have to trust
It's the way we have to persevere
That's not easy

It's the world we live in
It's the desires of our hearts
That's not easy

Your word says You give grace
Your word says You give mercy
Your word says You're forgiving
Your word says You're faithful
But Your word never said it would be easy
It's never easy

The moment I chose You
I chose the narrow gate
No it's never gonna be easy
But still i choose to hang on

weird weird

hmmm. weird day.

woke up, and house so quiet.

going out with 4e3 girls, not my usual gang.

sean's in army already. gosh! thank God for him. cal's in m'sia, then sean's around. now sean's in ns, cal's coming back. =D

renewal camp people coming back.

dian officially had a transfer of employer, no longer staying here with my family.

so many changes.
at least there's one change that'll be good. the coming back of people from renewal camp! =D

what nice girls do

DADDY SEAN!! ENJOY YOUR LAST DAY BEFORE ARMY!!
(i know 9.30am is a GREAT challenge for you. =P)

DADDY GID!! ENDURE YOUR LAST DAY BEFORE END OF BMT!!

KENNI!! SLYVESTER!! KENNETH YEO!! HAPPY FREEDOM!!



yupp, i know i'm a nice girl!

woo! i stayed at home the WHOLE DAY! that's rare. been going out a lot. study study!! luwei and jaclyn came my house study!! =D

got back my hp! cant wait to send it for repair! lol!

common test so so near! just next week! nervous nervous! so dead!

LOL!

tired! tired!

woke up early cos SOME PEOPLE just dont wanna reply me, so i dont know what time i should be leaving home. realised that i've totally forgotten that i'm supposed to meet shing and winnie for GP. gosh! rushed to IMM buy stuffs, then rushed down to winnie's. finished GP then went down to meet sean low and kenneth yeo.

met them, then they immediately tell me they going vivo le. cheat me la. went to vivo. was kinda hoping mummy would say i need to go home for dinner. end up mummy asked me to just reach home by 11. went to marche straight. lol! sean low lost my bottle there. lol! 1st time hung out with this group of people... hmm... i was the youngest there! then we slacked outside marche then decided to go eat beancurd. ended up at the satay house at clarkquay. wanted to eat. i was quite hungry actually, then mummy called. aiya, lazy ar, so just ask her come fetch me lo.

to WINNIE and SHING: so so sorry. i know i was a little, uh no, quite, no no... i was 'zhong se qin you'. lol! 1st time ar. hee! i still love you guys. =P



i wanted you to send me back. got so so much to tell you.

stupidity

dumb.

unappreciated.

His.

EAST TO WEST

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness

The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest

I don’t want to end up where You found me

And it echoes in my mind

Keeps me awake tonight

I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West

And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned

But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west

‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been

Rising up in me again

In the arms of Your mercy I find rest

‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west

From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins

Endless reminding of my sin

And time and time again

Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in

Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away

From You leaving me this way

I know You’ve washed me white

Turn my darkness into life

I need Your peace to get me through

To get me through this night

I can’t live by what I feel

About the truth Your word reveals

I’m not holding on to You

But You’re holding on to me

You’re holding on to me

when your mind just cant shut up

woo! what a hectic week.

went out with...
luwei and kenneth yeo on mon to the christian warehouse thingy.
s02 and cal on tues, just eat together.
s02 on wed to sentosa.
luwei and 'gang' on thurs to study and celebrate esther's birthday.
the 'gang' and media on fri to celebrate esther's and junze's birthday.

enjoy hanging out with these friends.

yesterday was crazy. blindfolded esther from her house to lot1. lol! on the way trying to settle media stuffs. =P

today was good too. supposed to wake up early to give morning calls. end up i overslept. managed to only wake huat up. eh... celebrate celebrate at esther's house, then at lot1 with junze. went slack around at the arcade. then zhaolun, huat, regina and me went over to regina's house first, where huat cooked for us. lol! this was the 1st time someone else besides my maid and family cooked for me. wow! and it had to be a guy. shocked, in doubt. lol! hmm.. but famous cooks tend to be guys huh. uhh... the food was okay ba. (HUAT, YOU FORGOT DESERT! LOL!) yupp. he made appetizer, main course, then supposedly desert, laid the table, then went to bed. lol! oh oh, regina's sister came back in time to see huat cook too. her sister seems like a fun person. =) then the rest came, watch 'bu neng shuo de mi mi', then left, cos sis got piano. woke huat up the 2nd time today, i guess he was late?

got really quiet. i became like that even before the rest came. nothing happened, and i wasn't really that tired. when i'm tired, i talk rubbish, i dont keep quiet. i just had nothing to say. did wanna just talk rubbish, but hmm... yea. i just had nothing to say. so kept quiet, which led to sian-ness.
it's really dangerous when you keep your mouth shut and the only noise made is by your brain.

yea, it tends to lead to negativity and sorts. worse, spiritual attacks. that's why the bible says it's important to guard our hearts and minds. these are vital areas that the devil attacks. and if he succeeds, boy you're in trouble.

yea, that's how knowledge gives false spirituality.
but i'm proud to say i didnt kena any attacks.

how about this? have you ever heard of one-sided friendships? we've definately heard of one-sided love relationships, but how about friendships? do such exist? i think so, 'cause i think i'm facing one. lol! nah, not me, a friend of mine who shall not be named. it takes 2 hands to clap. my thinking had always been this: even if your friend is passive, you should just take the initiative. but when it really happens to you, i guess it's hard to say. i know, you'll just feel as if you're giving yourself to that friend, being very thick-skinned, going forward as if you 2 had been really close friends. and you'll just think,'if you wanna be that way, fine! then i'll be passive too. maybe we just can't be the good friends i thought we could be.'

oh wells. what can i say? let go and let God girl. no point thinking so much. let ignore and let things go naturally. i'm sure things will turn out fine! =) i hope.




invisibility.
significant, not.
just acquaintance.

radical conference '08

gosh! it was good!

went for the leaders session(it's supposed to be for ministries serving in that event). didnt wanna go. thank God i went. it was really good. the whole this. gosh! every single one message was for me! just pray i'll remember them and keep that momentum going back in school.

woo! media.. hmm. did totally different stuffs. made a little more noise. provided some eye-power. lol!

and deyan went for 2 sessions! uhh, i was a bit afraid to praise and worship in front of him. 'what will he think of me? what will he tell the people in school?' yea, stupid devil. i decided to push those thoughts aside and do what i usually would do. yea, great stuffs just happen when you choose to do things God's way.

woo! and i saw the young-ness in pastor daniel! cool! lol!! =P


honestly, i wanted to be thought as 'the christian girl' in school. then i realised i dont need man to see it, i want to be doing it for God.

PASTOR PRESTON, nono, PASTOR VULTRON talked about bringing the message back to my world. overcoming my condition, overcoming my crowd. but i realised i have not been about to overcome my crowd. i'm just so bothered by 'what will people think'. think of me as 'the christian girl', 'the holy girl', or 'the weird girl'? it's scary.

then he talked about us not fitting in. we're called to be aliens of the world. yea, that's something i've definately forgotten. it's so difficult to not fit in. i'm someone easily influenced. and in JJ, it's not like in FHS, where i could just hang out with a group of godly friends and support one another throughout the week. i have not godly friends in class. and the godly friends around in school, our timetable clashes.

it's gonna be hard keeping that momentum going.

but it's in His freedom that we live. it's in His freedom that i live. God showed me the meaning to this song, this bridge. i'll offer devotion. God, it has gotta be You.